What Would Jesus Do?
by heythatsmybike
Summary: After coming out of the closet, Naruto's parents decide to send him to a conversion therapy camp. Now it's up to him to discover himself, his sexuality, and where his convictions really lie. SasuNaru. AU. **INDEFINITE HIATUS**
1. Lord Have Mercy

**A/N:** This story was inspired by a controversial blog of a 16 year old I'm sure some of you heard about, and the documentary "Jesus Camp." BUT just FYI—I'm bending a lot of the rules of the "boot camp" just because there are so many different types of these camps with different rules and regulations, so I will be pulling from a few of them as well as creating some rules and activities myself.

**Please keep in mind that I'm not trying to offend anyone or their religious beliefs. I have nothing against Christians/Christianity/all religions and religion in general and _highly_ respect the individuals that make any sort of religious practice part of their daily life. I realize not all Christians are like how I may portray them, nor do I believe that they're all like that. Remember that everything is being told from the perspective of someone going through a potentially damaging experience and it is natural to react and think negatively towards people you feel to be attacking you. I apologize if I do offend, it's not my intention, and everything is purely for the purpose of plot and character growth. Thank you.  
**

**Warnings:** Language, smoking (and maybe mentions of drug and/or alcohol abuse), potentially disturbing religious practices and other related touchy subjects, minors in sexual situations (the youngest being 16). If there are any NC-17 sex scenes, they will be put under links in order to save my ass.

**Disclaimer (for all chapters):** Kishimoto owns it allll, baby.

* * *

"_Everyone has his or her path in life.  
If a toe wanted to be an eye,  
then all he would see is the inside of a sock.  
Thus you must follow your own path._"

-Michael Crowe

* * *

Naruto Uzumaki watched in horror as his parents loaded his florescent orange suitcase into the back of the dirty Lexus. He attempted to swallow the lump that was forming in his throat, the reality of what was happening finally hitting him like a punch to the stomach. Why was it so hard to breathe all of a sudden?

All of it had happened so fast, barely giving him any time to digest the entire situation. It was just yesterday that he had sat both of his parents down and announced to them that he was gay.

Needless to say, with his father an old fashioned set-in-his-ways pastor and his mother an equally conservative avid churchgoer, they didn't take the news very well.

His mother had broken out into uncontrollable sobs as his father had leapt to his feet, yelling himself hoarse. Spit had flown onto his chin and the living room coffee table as he settled into an unconcealed fit of rage, his face turning red as he forgot to breathe in between sentences.

Naruto hadn't known what he had done wrong, but he was prepared for this kind of reaction. So he had just stood where he was and counted the cracks in the wall over his father's shoulder.

After about an hour, the vein popping out of dad's neck from the force of his yells had shrunk and the shouting had ceased. Naruto had wondered whether he had stopped because he was done or because he had lost his voice. His mother's sobs had died down as well, as if she had been given a secret signal to be silent too.

Now, being someone that blurted out a lot of stupid things on a regular basis, Naruto was used to awkward silences. Never before had he experienced an awkward silence quite like that. It had been so thick that it was almost tangible; he could almost feel it wrapping around him and smothering him. For a moment, Naruto wondered if he had gone deaf.

Just as he had begun to feel like he would choke on the suffocating silence that surrounded him, his mother had stood, leaving a small indention on the couch cushion she had been sitting on. She had told Naruto to go to his room while she straightened out the nonexistent wrinkles on her yellow spring dress, lowering her eyes to the floor to avoid all eye contact.

The blond had laughed to himself, making silent jokes about how they were giving him a timeout for what he did in bed with other guys as he stretched out on his bed. After listening to the quiet mummers outside his bedroom door for a few moments, it had opened, revealing his parents' serious faces.

They had all huddled together on Naruto's bed, embracing the blond and crying while they told him there was something psychologically wrong with him. Naruto had remained silent, confused, and oddly numb throughout his mother's sorrowful apologizes and his father's heart-filled sermons about getting 'back on God's path.'

All their blubbering came back to one subject though: he was screwed up, and it was all their fault.

Two hours and a very soggy Naruto later, they had both stopped crying and each began to slowly release him. He hadn't been sure whether to be relieved or worried, but he had quickly gotten his answer when he noticed the look on his parents' faces.

It was like they had looked through him rather than looked _at_ him; both of them wore the same pitying expression that someone would give to a man that was about to be lead to execution. He still remembered the way his heart had sped up, feeling as if it was made of lead, as his chest tightened. His body had felt cold even though he was sweating profusely.

That's when they had informed him that he was to apply to a Fundamentalist Christian program for homosexuals, or as Naruto mind interpreted it, 'gay boot camp.' Now _that_ definitely wasn't the reaction he was expecting. At first he had thought it was a joke, even as they had stressed the seriousness of the situation to him.

The way they had described it made it sound like he was a criminal, making his smile rapidly fade until it fell from his face completely. That's when he had snapped. He had yelled, screamed, begged; telling them that he refused to go, but the decision was final.

He was going. End of story.

He had to repack his suitcase three times, the first two times filling it to the brim with nothing but escape gear and half the contents of the pantry. He had fought in every way he could, trying to run away, call someone for help or do something, anything. Nothing worked, they had him cornered and they knew it. His fate was sealed.

Now, as he watched his mother climb into the passenger seat, his fists clenched at his sides as he stared at pavement. An overwhelming sense of betrayal welled up in his chest as waves of diluted anger and resentment rolled over him.

He watched as his father's impossibly large shadow stretched out across the driveway in front of his own, swallowing it completely. Well, at least he was finally where his father had always wanted him. When a large hand fell on his shoulder and gave it a light squeeze, he refused to look up. Not just because he was angry with the man, but also because he didn't want him to see the pain and betrayal that reflected in his glossy, bloodshot eyes.

"Get in," came a strong, gruff voice beside him. It wasn't a request, it was an order. Naruto shrugged the hand off his shoulder and reluctantly yanked open the door, sliding into the backseat slowly before slamming the door shut behind him.

His father entered the driver's seat and locked the doors behind him, starting the car. Naruto rolled his eyes. What did they think he was going to do, jump out of a moving car onto a crowded freeway? He was gay, not mentally retarded. Although the window did look pretty promising…

He sighed and rested his head on the side window, abandoning all plans of jumping out of it. Strands of blond hair shifted uncomfortably on his forehead as he pressed it against the cool glass, watching as the passing scenery blurred together into a mess of colors.

"Well, that could've gone better…" he mumbled to himself as his mother chattered on about how it this was going to be a life-changing experience for him. He sighed again, slightly fogging up the glass with breath.

Something in his heart nagged him that she was right. That he wouldn't make it out the same; that he would become a different person. That thought killed him. It had taken him ages to become comfortable with himself and his sexuality, especially after being bullied and hated for it for so long.

Now that he was content, that he was finally genuinely happy, it was all going to be ripped away from him.

He had a sinking feeling that if he did get 'transformed' and became straight, he would be so depressed and mentally unstable that it wouldn't matter. He closed his eyes, his head bouncing lightly against the window in sync with the bumps in the road, and allowed himself to drift off into a restless sleep.

Anything was better than thinking about what was to come.

* * *

Naruto's eyes flew open as his head slammed against the window, the car screeching to a halt.

"OW!" He cried, nursing his new injury. _That better not leave a bruise!_ He pouted, glaring at his father before quickly looking out the window.

His eyes widened as he realized they were no longer moving. They were there. Shit, he was going to throw up. He felt slightly better as he imagined the look on his father's face if he were to really up-chuck in his beloved car. _Heh, that would show the bastard._

That relief was short lived though when his mother's form appeared in front of the window and flung the door open.

"We're here!" She announced happily, grabbing his hand and practically throwing him out of the car before he even had time to yell out a protest or a string of profanities. Nervousness began to wash over him again.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and struggled as his parents shoved him to the front of the camp where a mob of counselors was waiting to greet him and others. Looking around him, he felt his stomach tighten more. The place was completely secluded and surrounded by nothing but woods, their facilities, and staff, making it impossible for an escape.

_Or for anyone to hear our screams!_ What if they were secretly going to murder him? He paled, every bad camp horror movie flashing before his eyes. Naruto had never been more thankful for his virginity. The virgins were always the ones to live in those things.

His parents came to a sudden stop, surprising the struggling blond and causing him to fall face first into the gravel. He groaned in pain and sat up, rubbing his stinging cheek and loudly griping about how things were already off to a _wonderful_ start.

"Are you alright?" A counselor asked him while helping him to his feet._ Well let's see, I finally decide to come out of the closet to my parents after years of denying it from them and myself and instead of accepting me anyway, they treat me like I have some sort of mental illness and send me to a fucking boot camp to get 'fixed,'_ he thought bitterly, but instead murmured, "Peachy."

"You mean 'preachy!'" she said, chuckling at her own pun while his mother and father laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. Naruto just stared at her dumbly and cocked an eyebrow, "Huh?" Something about this lady just seemed completely… _off_ to him.

"Oh, never mind," she said, waving it off. "We're not here for fun and games, after all! This is about you and your relationship with Jesus Christ! Here we'll be sure to assess all of your recovery needs and help develop positive recovering skills over the next few months. Now, are you here for homosexual and promiscuous behavior, or just one of them?"

Naruto nearly choked on his own spit. Homosexual _and_ promiscuous behavior? Great, he told his parents he was gay and they somehow had translated it as 'man-whore.' Fan-bloody-tastic.

"E-excuse me?" He squeaked, blushing bright red.

"It's alright," she continued, clapping a hand on his shoulder and looking deep into his eyes. "I know you're ashamed and maybe even a little disgusted with yourself, but we'll cleanse this sin of yours together. Now, your bags are being brought to your cabin and there's still about five minutes before the first assembly begins."

Naruto's chest felt hollow. Cleanse him, like he was dirty. That's how they saw him. But that is what he was, wasn't he? Just a filthy little sinner in need of a good moral scrubbing.

She turned towards his parents, smiling so wide it looked painful. "On the grounds we have four intimate prayer gardens, hundreds of beautiful trees, two peaceful reflective chapels and a baseball field. We also offer a home-school curriculum and on-site tutor to help ensure that your child maintains his studies while he pursues his healing."

His parents smiled at each other, relief and hope washing over their faces while their eyes glittered with grateful tears. Naruto felt like crawling into a hole somewhere and dying. Maybe one of their _'hundreds of beautiful trees_' had a hole big enough for him.

As the counselor steered him around by the shoulder, still chatting to his parents about something or other, Naruto could help thinking that he would have preferred it if his parents had just kicked him out of the house like he had been expecting. Hell, his fear of getting kicked out was beginning to look like an all-expenses-paid trip compared to the foreboding vibes he was getting from this place.

The hand on his shoulder shifted and dropped, bringing his eyes back up to meet the counselor's again. He shivered under her gaze, feeling like she was mentally condemning him.

"Why don't you say good-bye to your parents and then go and look around for a bit, hmm?" She said with another sugary-sweet smile—Naruto swore he felt a toothache coming on—before turning to leave. His mother and father hugged him and said a quick prayer over him before scurrying away quickly.

Naruto felt lost as he looked through the sea of nervous teens and smiling staff members. He suddenly felt very small, like he was six again and lost his mother in the middle of the super market.

Blue eyes darted around wildly, taking in all of the looks he was getting. Everyone seemed to be staring at him with the same look in their eyes. He could practically hear them mentally chanting 'Sinner! Sinner! Sinner!' as they eyed him. But no matter how belittling their gazes were, they still keep those plastic smiles plastered on their faces.

Naruto began sweating like a whore in church. He wondered how far from the truth that saying really was at the moment. They thought he was here because he couldn't control his 'sexual urges,' after all.

He clamped his hands over his ears, unconsciously attracting more attention to himself. The counselor's words were still ringing through his head. She hadn't said much, but for some reason what she had was lodged in his head. He just-he needed to go somewhere, somewhere to get away from all the accusing eyes. Someplace where he could clear his head at least a little bit.

He continued to scan the area, but the staff was everywhere. By bathrooms, doors, trees, every building, every place, every-freaking-where! Just as the blond was about to panic, his eyes caught something curling over the top of one of the buildings. Smoke.

He walked toward it, cautiously peering over the side of the wooden building to find the cause. His jaw nearly dropped at what he saw.

He knew smoke was usually caused by something hot, but this wasn't what he had been expecting.

Leaning against the pale wood, hands shoved into the pockets of tight, black leather pants, was the most gorgeous man Naruto had ever seen. The man practically oozed sex as he inhaled the cigarette that dangled from between his full, sensual lips and glared icily at air in front of him, obviously not happy to be there.

Naruto suddenly considered going to church camps more often if they included finding sex gods.

He slowly let his eyes roam over the lean form, soaking up every detail. The man was wearing a tight, black sleeveless zip-up shirt that nicely showed off his chest and slender, yet muscular figure. His pants rode low on his hips, exposing a small stretch of creamy, smooth skin and a slight tease of dark pubic hair. Alright, so the pubes really weren't that sexy, but the fact that the other boy had managed to get away with it in the first place was somehow turning Naruto on. A _lot._

The boy's legs were crossed by the ankles casually, trying to make him seem more relaxed even though his body was incredibly tense. His features were well defined and sharp, looking almost as if they had been chiseled out of marble. While a pallor complexion and dark blue-black hair might have looked sickly on most people, it only added to his beauty, making him seem more like a porcelain doll than a real human being.

After giving the guy a once over—or sixth over—Naruto suddenly glanced around the man. He smiled as he slowly realized that there was no camp staff in sight. Apparently this guy was pretty smart too, since he had immediately managed to pick out the only blind spot in their security.

Without thinking, he jumped behind the wall and threw his hands in the air. "SANCTUARY!" He cried, happy to be free of all of gut wrenching, judgmental looks

This outburst seemed to bring the man out of whatever trance he was in and Naruto soon found himself peering into two pools of starless midnight. The dead, cold look in them from before was replaced by a twinkle of amusement as he stared at the blond. Naruto fidgeted, not used to be stared at with such intensity that wasn't laced with hatred.

"Uh…" He managed to squeak out, forgetting that his arms where still idiotically thrown into the air. The raven-haired man brought his hand to his mouth and pulled out his cigarette. He smirked, exhaling all of the smoke from his lungs and pointed with his cigarette towards a building with a large cross hovering over it.

"The church is over there. I doubt there's anything sacred about an alley," he brought his sin stick to his lips once more and took a nice, long drag from it. "…Idiot." He turned his head and stared into the space in front of him once more, his shoulders noticeably less stiff now.

Cheeks flushing in embarrassment, Naruto snapped back to his senses and dropped his arms, glaring at the other boy. "Shows what you know, anything away from those looks is holy land to me." The boy gave a grunt of agreement, and Naruto didn't doubt that everyone-hell, every_thing_-in the camp had had their eyes glued to the other boy since he walked in. Which, really, made that fact that he was able to find a space away from everything all the more incredible... but it still didn't give him the right to call Naruto an idiot. "And don't call me an idiot, bastard!"

The boy snapped his head back and gazed at the blond again like no one had ever spoken to him like that before. A smirk slowly crept onto his face as he stared at Naruto like he was an interesting new species he'd never seen before. Naruto gulped but refused to take a step back.

"Hn," the boy grunted in response, still puffing on the last of his cigarette.

"Are you allowed to be smoking those here?" Naruto asked with a cough and he scrunched up his face in disgust as the wind picked up and blew a cloud of smoke right in his face. He waved the grey cloud away as it began to burn his nostrils.

The boy shrugged and exhaled a stream of smoke from his nose, reminding Naruto of an angry cartoon bull. "Does it matter?" He responded with a slight edge to his voice. Naruto caught the silent question—"Who's gong to tell, you?"—and rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"Heh, nah. Not really, I guess."

Naruto walked up and stood in front of him, extending a tanned hand towards the boy, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, nice t' meet ya!"

The boy stared at his hand, exhaling a lung full of smoke into the his face. Naruto coughed and glared and began to pull his hand away, royally pissed off about the guy's attitude (this guy was a dick!), when it was suddenly stopped. He looked down to see a pale, icy hand gripping his own firmly.

"Sasuke Uchiha."

Naruto gave him a grin so wide that Sasuke could have probably counted all of his teeth if he really wanted to and shook his hand a few times before letting go. Naruto rested his hands behind his head.

"So, are you here because you're gay or a man-whore?" He asked with a mischievous grin. Sasuke started and then smirked at the word 'man-whore', taking another drag of his sin stick.

"A little of both." A dark, sly expression crept across his features. "What about you? Been doing any 'man-whoring' lately?"

Naruto stuttered and blushed. Why did everyone think that? Did he _look_ like a slut to them? He was Naruto! _Naruto_! Not Naru-ho!

"Hell no!" He choked out, his voice noticeably higher than usual. Sasuke raised a finely shaped eyebrow at him, that infuriatingly sexy smirk still in place. He took one last long inhale from his cigarette before tossing it on the ground and snuffing it out with the ball of his foot.

Naruto suddenly felt naked when Sasuke raked his eyes over the blond's body. For some reason when those dark eyes looked at him it felt like Sasuke was peering into Naruto's soul, almost as if it was something much more intimate and forbidden than just an innocent look. Then again, there was hardly anything innocent about Sasuke.

The man was sex on legs, and that made him a walking sin

A strange look crossed Sasuke's face before he slapped on his smirk once again and uncrossed his legs, pushing off the wall and standing before Naruto at full height.

"Really?"

Naruto barely had any time to process just what exactly Sasuke was doing before he was suddenly spun around by a hand on his shoulder and shoved against the wall, pale hands resting beside either side of his head.

"That's too bad," Sasuke breathed into his ear. The warm smell of tobacco and deep baritone voice that lashed out against Naruto's ear and scalp coated his body in goosebumps nearly instantly.

"Why?" Naruto surprised himself with the breathy quality of his voice. Sasuke's lips vibrated against the shell of Naruto's ear as he chuckled, making the skin there tingle. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end, running up his neck until it stopped and prickled just below the base of his skull.

"Because then I might've been able to get away with this-" Sasuke suddenly captured his lips with his own in a fiery kiss. At first Naruto had been too shocked to move-hadn't he just met this guy?-but he was quickly brought out of his stupor when Sasuke sucked on Naruto's bottom lip.

Naruto dug his fingers into gelled black tresses and yanked Sasuke's head back by the back of his scalp, breaking the kiss.

"What are you doing?" Naruto whispered in a panic, looking around wildly. "What if someone sees us? Shit, what if they're watching us right now!"

Sasuke seemed unconcerned by Naruto's sudden wave of paranoia and simply shrugged. "Then we'll give them a show." He moved closer to Naruto and pressed his chest against him, smirking at the panicked look on Naruto's face.

"Don't worry idiot, no one can see us. If the could, they would've came over and separated us already," he whispered into Naruto's ear before licking and lightly nibbling at the soft, sensitive cartilage. Naruto moaned as he shuddered again at the pleasant tingling sensation that danced down his spine.

He closed his eyes and unconsciously pulled Sasuke's body closer, his fingers still tangled in dark hair. Sasuke had a point; if anyone were watching them they would have rushed over and lectured them about giving into 'sinful desires' by now.

Plus Naruto had to wonder, would it really hurt to just give in? Naruto had never had anyone show this kind of interest in him before. It made him feel... needed, and God did he need to be needed right now. Right after his parents had dumped him at some fundamentalist penitentiary. Besides, what were the chances that he'd see Sasuke again after this whole camp thing was over? Why not just enjoy it now, especially when what Sasuke was doing felt _that_ good.

He jokingly bet that even Jesus himself wouldn't be able to resist if he were in Naruto's place.

Sasuke released Naruto's ear and slowly kissed his way across a tan, scarred cheek. He just barely pressed his lips against Naruto's in a petal soft kiss, moving his lips at a torturously slow pace to tease him. Right when Naruto moved to kiss him back, Sasuke pulled his head back and smirked at the baffled blond. After trying a few more times with the same result, Naruto pulled back and growled in frustration at Sasuke's satisfied smirk until he finally realized what was going on.

Sasuke was challenging him, and Naruto wasn't about to back down.

So when Sasuke tried to evade yet another kiss, Naruto yanked him down by the back of his head into a fierce kiss and made a victorious sound. Sasuke grunted and kissed back with equal fervor and catching Naruto's bottom lip between his teeth, nipping and sucking on it.

Naruto gasped when one of Sasuke's sharp canines sunk into the soft under side of his lip and Sasuke took the opportunity to slip his tongue in the blond's mouth. Naruto felt like his body was on fire as Sasuke pressed more into his body, his spine almost completely straight as it was uncomfortably pushed into smooth wood. The strong aftertaste of tobacco invaded his senses, along with something that vaguely tasted like cinnamon gum.

Adrenaline rushed through his body as Sasuke's tongue began exploring his mouth, expertly swiping it over the insides of his cheeks and the roof of his mouth before running and twirling the wet muscle around his own tongue. He moaned into the kiss as he felt the heat that spread throughout his body began to gather in his groin, the fluttering in his stomach becoming more violent with every touch and ragged breath.

Naruto tentatively began to move his tongue against Sasuke's, trying not to seem as inexperienced as he really was. Sasuke groaned when he felt Naruto's tongue clumsily slide against his own and encouraged it to move farther with his own tongue. Naruto gasped as Sasuke moved his hands from wall and slowly ran suggestive, ghostly touches down the sides of Naruto's body, stopping and letting them rest on his hips

He moved their hips until they were aligned, consequently bringing their erections into alignment as well. Naruto failed at suppressing a moan when Sasuke rocked their hips together, answering their bodies pleas for sweet friction. Naruto's chest began heaving to better accommodate his racing heart, momentarily seeing spots every time Sasuke brought their hips together in a slow grind.

Oh God, the kissing was getting _way_ out of hand.

Sasuke broke off their heated kiss with a loud, wet smack and licked the light sheen of sweat on the blond's throat. He attacked Naruto's pulse, licking and sucking, only releasing the skin he nipped and brought between his teeth when Naruto warned him about leaving hickeys.

Naruto tried to collect his muddled thoughts through the haze of his mind when Sasuke hooked his thumbs under the blond's pant line and stroked the soft skin there. He had to stop this. Especially before they both made certain, er, _stains_ that they wouldn't be able to explain.

"Sa… Sa-Sasuke.. we, we should-" Naruto lost all coherent thought though when Sasuke suddenly quicken the pace and gave a particularly deep thrust, making Naruto's tailbone dig painfully into a nail head sticking out from the wood wall behind him.

Sasuke grunted and gathered all the will-power he possessed. He pulled his head away from the tanned neck and forced his hips to stop moving, reluctantly releasing his grip on Naruto's hips. Naruto slowly untangled his sweaty palms from Sasuke's hair and dropped them to his sides. Sasuke stepped back slightly to give them more breathing room and to stop sandwiching Naruto between himself and the wall.

Naruto let his back part from the wall as he tried to gain control over his ragged, shallow breathing. He glanced up to find Sasuke just as flustered and out of breath and chuckled. Sasuke looked up at him, his eyes still glazed over with the lust that had been ruling them only moments before, and cocked an eyebrow at the giggling boy.

"What's so funny?" His voice came out more husky and uneven than it was before.

"Heh, nothing. It's just they never mentioned this in the pamphlet," Naruto joked, remembering how terrified he had originally been when reading up about the camp.

"Man-whore," Sasuke snorted. He failed at suppressing a small, amused smirk when Naruto began blushing and stuttering at the comment.

"Ye-yeah, well, you started it, so that makes you one too!" Naruto shot back, digging an accusing index finger into Sasuke's hard chest. Sasuke grabbed Naruto's hand and pulled the blond against his tall body, wrapping his free arm around Naruto's waist.

"Don't get so angry," He leaned down and chuckled into the blond's ear, his hot, moist breath began swirling around the inside of Naruto's ear once again, "I'm glad you're one." He suddenly let go of Naruto and pulled away.

Naruto blushed even more violently and glared at Sasuke. He opened his mouth to retort when an intercom suddenly, loudly clicked on.

"Good morning and welcome to your first day of camp! We're so glad you chose us to be your spiritual guides on the road to salvation, and we're looking forward to meeting and getting know each and every one of you! But now, everyone please report to the worship center for our first group session, and remember, Jesus still loves you!"

The overly cheery announcement echoed through the grounds before the intercom whined and clicked off once again, leaving only the sound of grumbling teenagers shuffling in the direction of what Naruto assumed was where they were meeting. Sasuke let out an angry exhale, obviously not looking forward to the 'group session', before running his fingers through his hair to undo the damage Naruto inflicted during their make-out session.

"Wait a few minutes before leaving after me, idiot."

"Uh, yeah, right. Later, bastard," Naruto responded dumbly, still in a slight daze. Sasuke began to leave but then suddenly stopped in his tracks and spun around. Naruto blinked at him as he walked back over and placed a light kiss to Naruto's temple. "Don't lose yourself," he whispered.

"Huh?" Naruto scrunched his face in confusion and looked up only to find Sasuke gone. Don't lose yourself? What the hell was Sasuke talking about? He groaned and slid down the wall behind him, not caring if he got any splinters in his back from the wood.

He felt like he had just been thrown into a whirlpool and then spat back out. Everything was happening so fast it made his head feel like it was going to spin off. He pushed off the ground with his hand and stood up, making his way stealthily towards their meeting place.

Well, he wasn't sure exactly what was going to happen in this place but one thing was for sure, it would be… interesting, to say the least.

Lord have mercy.


	2. Speak No Evil

**A/N (27/02/09):** I'm currently going through and correcting and improving all of the chapters, so if you re-read one and wonder, "What the hell? Is this the same fic?!" Yes, yes, you're in the right place! I don't think I've changed it _that_ much to make you think that, but still. I also apologize if certain themes and events may seem temporarily disjointed because of the construction!

**A/N the Second:** Just a few quick notes: I wasn't originally going to name the camp, but once I started reading about the real-life program called _Love in Action: Refuge_, I loved the irony in the name way too much to not use it. So, uh, don't sue me. Also, I know that the lady probably seemed intense and unbelievable to some people, but she's actually based off of a woman who runs the camp in _Jesus Camp_. So sadly, people like that do exist.

**Camp rules were taken directly from a fundamentalist Christian camp called 'Love In Action: Refuge.' I didn't think them up, nor do I claim to. Yes, I realize that not all camps have the same rules and that I changed with a few of LIAR's rules/left some out though for plot reasons, so please don't inform me of such. I tried to reword everything as best I could, but some of them I couldn't really mess with so please don't sue me. All you'll get is my medical bills and a stick of gum that's melted to the bottom of my pocket**

* * *

Dark eyes watched as distressed teens were lead into the worship center like lambs to the slaughter. Even though Sasuke had been 'busy' with Naruto, he still was one of the first ones to enter and managed to snag a seat located in the back corner of the room. It was supposedly the most inconspicuous place in the room. Out of sight, secluded, and in the shadows.

Yet as he tried to blend in with the wall next to him, he suddenly felt like he was under a giant spotlight with the way everyone's eyes seemed to go directly to him.

He supposed it had something to do with the way he was dressed. After all, it wasn't every day someone came to a strict, conservative religious camp only to find a man wearing the tightest black leather imaginable. It was probably like going to heaven to meet a demon.

He smirked as he remembered the looks on all of the staff's faces when he first strolled up to the front of the camp. He didn't know it was humanly possible for someone to turn that shade of white. Some of them even crossed themselves and muttered a quick pray under their breaths like he was the devil himself.

Sasuke cleared his throat and watched as his nicotine stained fingers began to shake, already feeling the effects of his last cigarette. He clenched his fists, his jumbled nerves intensifying the after smell of smoke and lingering taste of tobacco that assaulted his senses. God, he would kill for another cigarette.

He shifted in his chair and crossed his legs, his leather pants stretching painfully over his crotch. He couldn't stop thinking about that kiss in the alley, which was bad news for him because he was half hard. Again. Today was not a good day to be going commando.

His eyes darted around the room as he observed the new faces that piled in, trying to get his mind off of his libido. He smirked when he eyes landed on Naruto. The blond stood out like a sore thumb in that stupid orange shirt of his. His smirk widened as Naruto awkwardly rushed over and hopped in the first chair he saw.

Staff members murmured to each other and nodded their heads in approval as the blond crossed his legs and leaned over, looking like he was in prayer. Sasuke knew better though, especially when he saw nervous blue eyes dart around the room. Oh, he was praying all right. Praying that no one noticed the hard on that he was so desperately trying to hide.

Apparently Sasuke wasn't the only one still thinking about their encounter.

A woman began clearing her throat loudly into a microphone, bringing everyone's—including a very reluctant Sasuke's—attention up to the stage. The microphone whined loudly when she began tapping it, causing several people to clasp their hands over their ears and groan in complaint.

"Whoops, guess it works!" She chuckled as the few remaining stragglers took their seats. All conversations quieted to soft murmurs as the woman motioned for them to stop talking and began pacing in front of a giant cross on the stage. Once the voices stopped she paused and pivoted to face the audience.

"Hello everyone, and welcome to Love in Action: Refuge! We're so glad that all of you have chosen to gather here in the pursuit of sobriety from sin."

"We didn't choose." Sasuke mumbled under his breath darkly, glaring daggers at the woman on stage.

"It's our job here at Love in Action to act as messengers of the Lord, giving all of you a safe environment for spiritual growing, and to be your guides on the road to recovery!" She adjusted her large, box-framed glasses and grinned, exposing lipstick stained teeth to everyone.

Sasuke felt his gag reflex acting up just listening to the woman's parrot-like voice. Well, at least he didn't have to worry about being hard anymore. This woman was the biggest boner killer he'd ever seen.

She began walking back and forth in front of the crowd, looking from person to person with that same uncomfortable gaze that all of the other staff seemed to share. It must've been a requirement to work there.

"Now, here our belief is based on three fundamental truths. First of all, there are no such thing as homosexuals!" She grinned, acting like she just revealed the cure to some life-threatening disease.

Sasuke scowled, fighting the urge to run on stage and strangle the robust woman as he uncrossed his legs and rested his hands on his knees. No such thing as homosexuality his ass; it wasn't like he just woke up one day and decided to be gay.

"The second truth is that both men and women will struggle with both large and small homosexual desires and attraction throughout their lives. Yes, we are here to help you, but to tell you that there is an automatic and total cure for this would not only be misleading, but harmful. The journey to forgiveness will be long and hard, so don't expect any shortcuts," she continued, her expression doing a complete one-eighty going from smiling and friendly, to stern and serious.

The woman was about as plastic as her cheap, red nails.

"The third and most important truth that we place our faith in here is that homosexuality is a sin, and will be treated as so with the same biblical models we would apply to any other sin. Only when we are able to see homosexuality as a sin, a behavior, and a wrong mindset, can we find forgiveness and freedom from it. Now, in _Galatians 5:19 - 21: 19_ it says—"

Sasuke tuned out her annoying chatter as she began spewing bible verses. How many different ways were there to tell him he was going to Hell, anyway? He'd only been there for twenty minutes and he'd already heard around ten.

He let his eyes wander around the room, examining it for the first time since he sat down. It was a cross between a regular camp auditorium and a church, complete with state of the art lighting, uncomfortably hard fold-up chairs, inexpensive purple carpeting, bible verse engraved cream walls, and a large stage with a giant crucifix hovering behind it.

The place reeked of pine-scented disinfectant from a recent cleaning, which was ironic since woods already surrounded them, so why would they need something that smelt like pine? It made almost as much sense as hanging a pine tree air freshener on a pine tree itself.

Everything in the room was in order and everything was where it should be. Not a single wire was out of place. Everything just seemed so agonizingly… _perfect._ Sasuke felt like throwing up all over the newly vacuum-streaked carpeting.

He let out a long exhale and sunk into his chair, hoping that the rest of the two months wouldn't pass as slowly as the past five minutes had.

* * *

Naruto slumped in his chair and rested his head on the back of his seat as he counted the ceiling tiles, completely ignoring the woman attempting to 'save his soul' up front. It wasn't that he wasn't interested in hearing what she had to say; it was just that he was too damn nervous and fidgety to pay any attention to it.

His eyes darted back to the first ceiling tile as he lost his place, starting to count them all over once again. He began drumming his fingers continuously on his knees, as if he would break out into a sudden seizure if he were to sit still.

Screw butterflies, he was pretty sure there was a pack of screeching pterodactyls flying around his stomach.

"And now for the camp rules—" The lady said, finally cutting to the chase. One of the staff handed her a stapled stack of papers and she gave them a slight nod of thanks. She cleared her throat and adjusted her glasses, preparing to read from them.

Naruto straightened up in his chair and snapped his head back towards the front. The pterodactyls became more violent as nervousness washed over him once again. He had always been told to listen to his gut and right now, he didn't like what it was telling him as it began to clench uncomfortably.

"No smoking, alcohol, or drugs. All prescription drugs and over-the-counter medications must be left in the care of our nurse, who will administer them when necessary. No sexual or emotional misconduct. Any temptations, fantasies, or dreams are to be presented to our staff workers only.

"Sexual misconduct includes viewing pornography, emotional dependency, voyeurism, stalking, masturbation, mutual masturbation, or any form of genital or sexual contact with another person. Sexual temptation, as well as the previously mentioned, is never to be discussed between campers."

Naruto groaned. He was a healthy teenage boy with healthy teenage boy hormones, how did they expect for him to control his wet dreams? And how were they supposed to find out about them, anyway?

His eyes suddenly widened in realization. _What if they can read minds?!_ He resisted the urge to stand up and run to the cafeteria to wrap his head in aluminum foil. He always heard that's what stopped aliens from mind reading, so he figured it would probably stop the camp staff, too. Even if it would give them more reasons to think that there was something mentally and psychologically wrong with him.

"There is to be no hugging or touching between one another. Only brief handshakes or a quick affirmative hand on the shoulder is allowed. No swearing or saying the Lord's name in vain. Now, let's talk about hygiene. Here at Love in Action, hygiene is very important because we believe that small, unhealthy habits can lead to dysfunctional or life-controlling habits.

"Everyone must maintain appropriate hygiene, including daily showering, use of deodorant, and brushing teeth twice daily. Men are required to shave off all of their facial hair daily, including sideburns, and women must shave their legs and underarms at least twice weekly. While the hair cannot be longer than shoulder length on men, it still must be long enough to pinch between two fingers. Only natural hair color is allowed.

"Modesty is expected from all of you. No spandex or tight, provocative, suggestive clothing is allowed. No provocative or suggestive mannerisms are permitted. Fresh undergarments are to be worn at all times." She seemed to latch her gaze onto a specific person in the room as she said this.

Naruto turned—along with most of the audience—to see Sasuke glaring icily back at her, his hands clenched tightly on his knees. Naruto couldn't help but grin and snicker slightly under his breath.

One thing was for sure; Sasuke sure knew how to make a first impression. The bastard was breaking almost every one of those rules! He might as well have been naked in the eyes of the staff.

"Boxer shorts of any kind are considered underwear and are not to be worn as outer clothing—including as sleep wear. Everyone must be dressed appropriately in clean, unstained, unripped, and unwrinkled clothes. The only jewelry men may wear is a watch."

Naruto paled and clutched his necklace through his shirt. No way. No way in hell he was letting these people take it. If they got their grubby little hands _anywhere_ near it, he would break them off.

"In addition to a watch, women may also wear a pair of simple earrings—one earring per ear. Campers may not wear Abercrombie and Fitch or Calvin Kleinbrand clothing, undergarments, or accessories."

Even though this place was beginning to sound worse and worse by the second, Naruto couldn't help but laugh at that. Since when was Calvin Klein and Abercrombie and Fitch considered 'ungodly'? Apparently he wasn't the only one that thought it was absurd since the room instantly broke out into confused murmurs.

The woman merely frowned and raised her hand once again to silence them. "Shirts are to be worn at all times, even while sleeping. T-shirts without sleeves are not permitted at any time, whether worn as an outer garment or an undershirt. This includes muscle shirts, 'wife beaters', or other tank tops.

"Bikini-style underwear is forbidden. Bras must be worn at all times, except while sleeping. Thong-style underwear is prohibited. Women's skirts must fall at or below the knee. Women may wear tank tops only if they are worn with an over-blouse. Socks are required at all times, even with sandals.

"No cologne, perfume, or use of other highly scented products. No coats, scarves, jackets, or overcoats. All belongings either will be or have been searched, including book bags, notebooks, wallets, handbags, purses, and the like. Items that violate the policy or dress code will be held for the owner and will be returned no later than the owner's last day in the program.

"Family therapy will be held on weekends and group therapy is everyday from seven to eight thirty in the evening. This will be the only time you will be able to contact them, since phone calls, visits, and postcards from friends and family is prohibited."

"False Image sessions will be held everyday at one o'clock until five o' clock in the evening to help you rediscover your gender's role in society. Rules for therapy and False Image will be given at your first session, which will be in three days time.

"There will be no listening to secular music or using the Internet. All cell phones, pagers, hand-held video games, cameras, sidekicks, and other electronics will be confiscated," she paused as she flipped through the stack of papers, double-checking to make sure she said everything. She reached the last page, her pupils darting back and forth as they scanned its content.

"Alright, now for the next three days of the program, all of you will be put into Safekeeping! On Safekeeping there will be no talking or communication, whether it be verbally, written, or with hand gestures. Do not make eye contact with anyone—including staff.

"If there's a practical need to be taken care of then, and only then, you are allowed to write down what you need on a sheet of paper and present it to the staff. Now, since this time of silence is a very important time for everyone to reflect on themselves and past actions, extra precautions will be taken to ensure that no one disobeys the rules."

She bent over and picked up a red roll of duct tape that had been sitting on the stage, holding it up for everyone to see. "Each one of you will be getting a Life Saver placed over your mouth. The only time you are allowed to take it off is for eating, drinking, or brushing your teeth."

The room once again broke out into outraged murmurs and disbelieving whispers. Naruto's mouth dropped open. What kind of a sick joke was this? He waited for the punch line, but as he scanned the stern and solemn faces of the staff and the woman on stage, he realized this was no joke. They were serious.

"That's bullshit!" He yelled, jumping to his feet and knocking his chair back into the lap of the person behind him. The room fell dead silent before everyone around him shifted and tried to scoot their chairs away from him, trying to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. Naruto looked around, suddenly realizing his mistake. Shit, he didn't mean to say that out loud!

"Er, I mean…" He broke out into a cold sweat, trying to think of a way to defuse the situation. "…that's bull _crap_?"

_Oh yeah, that'll solve everything._ He groaned inwardly as he watched most of the staff gasp and cover their mouths in shock while the woman up front's nostrils flared up in anger, reminding Naruto of a rhinoceros ready to charge. _Way to go, Naruto._

"You there! Young man!" The woman up front pointed a long, red fingernail at him, peering angrily at him through bug-eyed glasses, "What's your name?"

"Naruto Uzumaki," he answered, feeling something lightly bump the back of his knees as person behind him pushed the chair he knocked over back into place.

"Well then, Mr. Uzumaki, I hope you know that we have zero tolerance for outbursts like that and for those who break the rules. Now, I'm willing to let it slide this time since it's still the first day and you're still getting adjusted, however," she locked eyes with him, sending him a look so icy it would give even the devil chills, "next time, there will be consequences. Understood?"

Naruto nodded dumbly. He couldn't help but wonder if one of the 'consequences' included spending thirty days in the hole.

"Good. Now please come down here, you're first," she motioned impatiently for him to come to the front of the stage.

Naurto's legs seemed to move on their own as he weaved through the row of seats. He bumped knees and stepped on feet as he stumbled into the aisle, his mouth suddenly too dry to mutter apologizes.

Whispers echoed throughout the room, trailing him like a shadow as he headed towards the stage. He stared at the giant crucifix hanging on the wall as he walked down the aisle, not wanting to see the judgmental looks directed at him as people gossiped behind their hands, as if the appendages would somehow make it impossible to hear their biting comments.

But he could hear. And it wasn't the comments that hurt, or the fact that no one was exactly jumping out of their chair to help him; just knowing that the people that were stuck in the same situation for the same reasons were judging him was enough to make the lump in his throat unbearably large.

It looked like it would be every man for himself in this place.

The woman began speaking in another tongue when Naruto stopped in front of the stage. He didn't know whether to run for the hills or to laugh at the ridiculous dialogue that she was practically screaming into the microphone. Was she possessed? Naruto began to wonder if there was a reason why they called it the 'holy ghost'.

She placed a hand on top of his golden locks and closed her eyes, speaking faster. The blond began to fidget uncomfortably under her grasp. It sounded more like she was cursing him rather than blessing him. Suddenly her eyes snapped open and she stopped talking, giving a slight push to Naruto's head before pulling her hand away.

She loudly tore free a fresh strip of red duct tape and slapped it over his mouth, smoothing it out so it stuck to him like a second skin. Then she fished a black sharpie from her pants pocket and uncapped it, writing 'LIFE' in big, bold letters on the tape covering Naruto's mouth.

"What do you need to repent for? Think about it! What do you need to be forgiven of? Don't let this quiet time go to waste!" She cried into the microphone," Everyone line up. Once you have your Life Saver, please meet in the cafeteria. We will have an hour of contemplation before dinner."

She turned and looked Naruto in the eye, shaking her head in disapproval the second their eyes met. The woman grabbed his chin and yanked his head to the side, breaking all eye contact, "Now you go somewhere and pray, and you start doing some repenting!"

She released his chin with a jerk and stepped off the stage, waddling towards the slowly forming lines of campers silently awaiting their Life Savers.

A soft hand, slick with freshly applied hand lotion, grabbed Naruto's arm and turned him around, directing him towards the door. The small female staff member surprisingly smiled genuinely, murmuring sweet words of encouragement to the blond in a shy, stuttering voice; helping to rid some of the bad taste the bug-eyed woman's words left in his mouth.

Feeling some of the nervous clenching in his stomach ease at what felt like the first gentle voice he'd heard since he got there, Naruto scanned the faces of all of the remaining teens as he was lead out of the worship center. Fear, sadness, disbelief, and confusion were the most common emotions, showing on almost everyone's face… except for one.

Saskue remained seated, glaring heatedly at the seat in front of him, refusing to budge. A counselor eventually went over and said a few things to him, trying to pull him up by his arm. The raven yanked his arm violently out of the counselor's grasp, stood up, and walked out of the room with the staff in tow.

On the surface Sasuke appeared to just be angry, pissed off that he had to put up with this camp and everyone in it. But when Sasuke pushed out of his chair, Naruto was able to see the hurt and betrayal swirling beneath those dark orbs.

The same hurt and betrayal that had reflected in Naruto's blue eyes ever since he was first told he was being sent off to get fixed like some broken toy.

As Naruto was shoved in the direction of the cafeteria, he couldn't help but think that maybe they weren't so different after all.

* * *

Naruto traced the indention that the part in his lips made against the cool, slick surface of the duct tape with his fingertips in disbelief. Countless people had threatened to silence the blond with the multi-purpose tape in the past, but this was the first time that anyone had actually followed through with it.

If someone had told him last week that he'd have to remain silent for three days straight, he would've laughed right in their face. Long and hard. But as he felt the frayed end where the tape had been torn, he couldn't help but think this was no laughing matter.

He felt like a little kid that was sent to the corner to think about what they did wrong. The only problem was, unlike when he would pull pranks or blurt out rude comments, Naruto honestly had no clue what he did. But, maybe this time, he didn't _do_ anything. Maybe he didn't make a mistake.

Maybe... he_ was_ the mistake. He nearly choked on the growing lump in his throat as he tried to swallow the thought. Shaking his head to dislodge those thoughts, he searched for a place to sit in the now crowded cafeteria.

He scanned the tables in confusion, searching for the only face he even remotely knew. Sasuke was nowhere to be found in the mass of bodies though. He frowned, the image of the camp staff leading him out of the worship center still fresh in his mind. Huh, that was strange. It was almost time for dinner and Sasuke had yet to arrive. Where had they taken him?

Naruto decided he might as well find a place to sit down instead of wait around for the boy. It felt awkward to stand by the door alone for so long, anyway.

As he walked through the rows to find a free space, he couldn't help but think of the old wise tale with the three monkeys as he looked at all of the duct taped faces. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

It was unnerving to be around so many people and have the room be so eerily quiet. The fact that their eyes remained downcast in fear of making eye contact with someone did little to help lift the mood either.

He spotted an empty spot and slid on the bench that belonged to one of the long, wooden, picnic-style tables next to a girl with bright pink hair. He couldn't help but feel sympathy towards her as he remembered the camp rules against unnatural hair color. All that beautiful, shiny, cotton candy colored hair would have to either be chopped off or dyed or who knows what.

A familiar dark-haired figure suddenly entered his peripheral vision and he whipped around, hoping it was the boy from before. Naruto almost had to a do a double take though when his eyes finally landed on the figure.

Sasuke was dressed modestly in a baggy, wrinkled, navy dress shit and equally baggy and wrinkled black dress pants. Obviously the camp had made him change immediately after seeing his leather get-up.

Personally though, Naruto thought he deserved a metal for being able to stand wearing all that black leather to a hot, humid camp. Most people would've died from heat stroke within minutes. Maybe Sasuke was cold-blooded.

Apparently the leather wasn't the only thing they disapproved of though since the back of his once impeccably styled, spiky black hair was combed down, now nearly reaching his shoulders. Like everyone else, he also had his mouth sealed with bright red duct tape, but as he moved towards a table, Naruto couldn't help but notice there was something… off about it.

He squinted his eyes and examined it, trying to spot the mistake. He couldn't help but let out a muffled laugh when he finally realized why it looked weird, the duct tape pulling uncomfortably on his cheeks as the corners of his mouth rose in a grin.

Right in the center of the duct tape was a hole, just large enough to fit a cigarette in. The slight smudge of ink around the edges caused Naruto to infer Sasuke had stabbed it with a pen when no one was looking. Either that or if any of the camp's staff had noticed, they hadn't said anything yet. That or they probably didn't know _what_ to say.

Either the boy was a chain smoker, or he was just as nervous as Naruto and didn't know any other way to relieve it. Naruto guessed it was the latter when he saw worry flicker momentarily in those dark orbs before they hardened again as Sasuke looked around the room, his apathetic guise once more in place.

The sound of plastic clacking against the table's wooden surface brought Naruto's attention down to where a tray of food was set in front of him. _Dinner time, already?_ He stared down at the tray's contents, half-surprised to see a sloppy joe, mashed potatoes, peas, carrots, and corn sitting before him instead of stale bread and thin potato-based soup.

After everything that had been happening lately, he really didn't feel like eating. Too bad his stomach did. It growled and gurgled loudly, voicing its displeasure that Naruto wasn't feeding it to the quiet room. Everyone shifted their gaze over to Naruto, as if to see who or what dared to interrupt the silence.

Naruto felt a corner of the duct tape start to unstuck itself from his cheek as he began to sweat nervously. Even though he couldn't see them, he could still feel the weight of everyone's stares on him. And man was it uncomfortable. The blond rubbed the back of his head out of habit and gave them a duct taped concealed nervous grin before gently peeling off the tape and digging into his warm meal.

Well, at least the food was somewhat decent.

Just as long as it wasn't like this every night. He didn't think he'd be able to survive two long, agonizing months without ramen. Then again, who would _want_ to survive two long, agonizing months without ramen?! Naruto didn't even want to think about it.

He finished up his sloppy joe, his hunger now sated, and reached for his fork to get started on constructing a mashed potato volcano, complete with carrot huts and pea villagers. Accidentally grabbing it with his fingertips, he fumbled and dropped it, the fork making a loud clank as it landed on the bench he was seating on.

He breathed a sigh of relief, glad that he didn't have to try to figure out how to ask someone for another one when he wasn't allowed to communicate unless it was an emergency. Something told him his mashed potatoes didn't exactly qualify as an emergency.

He looked down and saw the metal utensil lying beside him on the wood. As he reached to pick it up, something caught his eye. The pink-haired girl that sat next to him was trembling, sniffling quietly to herself as she choked back tears. That wasn't what caught his attention though.

Underneath the protection of the long table she held someone's hand, clutching it desperately like it was her only lifeline. Naruto couldn't help but think how right that probably was as he trailed his eyes up the arm, only to find that it belonged to a blonde girl with the same confused and devastated expression on her face.

Snatching up his fork, he sat back up straight again, taking a moment to look at the people around him for the first time since he'd sat down. A boy that looked to be around the blond's age sat across from Naruto, his black hair pulled back into a spiky ponytail that reminded Naruto of a pineapple.

He shoved his full tray of food towards a pudgy boy sitting next to him, concern written all over his face at the fact that the large boy hadn't even touched his own plate yet. The robust boy stared down at the food being offered and gave a small nod of thanks before accepting it.

Something in Naruto's stomach twisted as the pineapple boy silently fussed over the chubby boy, obviously using it as a distraction so he didn't have to analyze everything that was happening to and around him.

Even though he was sitting in a cafeteria full of people, Naruto had never felt so alone before.

Just as he began crafting log cabins out of his carrots and mashed potatoes to try and distract himself, a hand grabbed his tray of food away and replaced it with a slip of paper with the number seven written on it. He glared at the staff member collecting trays. He was almost finished with the carrot roof, too!

"Everyone please look at the slip of paper you've just been given. The number on there is the cabin you will be staying in for the remainder of your time here. There's a sign just outside the front entrance that will point you to the trail that will take each of you to your respected cabin.

"Please put your Life Saver back on and report to your cabin. No pushing or shoving on your way out." A bored looking staff member up front ordered in a monotone voice, like it was something he'd been required to say one too many times before, while chewing on the end of a long toothpick.

Naruto sighed and picked his piece of duct tape off of the table, smoothing it over his mouth once again. Tomorrow he'd make sure to 'mysteriously misplace' it to be free of it for a couple of hours. Besides, wearing the same piece of tape for three days straight could _not_ be sanitary, and wouldn't it lose its stickiness, anyway?

Memorizing the cabin's number, he left the slip of paper on the table and got up, losing himself in the crowd as they were herded towards the front entrance like a group of cattle.

…_God help us._


	3. Lean On Me I

Naruto cursed mentally as he avoided another low tree branch and struggled to stay on the crowded dirt path, his short attention span crying out in agony. Just how far into the woods was their cabin, anyway?! It felt like he had been walking through trees for hours!

Well, it had only been about twenty minutes, and he had somehow wandered off the path and gotten lost in some shrubbery for about fifteen of those minutes… but still!

Naruto's mental ranting was cut off, though, as the person in front of him suddenly came to a stop, causing him to bump into them lightly. He opened his mouth to utter an apology, only to find that something was keeping it from opening all the way.

Oh, right, the duct tape. At least he understood now why they said it was a safety precaution for making sure everyone stuck to Safekeeping. Naruto would've broken the rules within the first five minutes without it. He still felt sorry for all the kids that were mouth breathers though; to them it must've felt like someone had put tape over their mouth _and_ nose. He just hoped no one had died of suffocation yet.

Making a slight sound of frustration (he'd never get used to this silence thing!), he glanced around to see what the hold up was. They'd reached what looked like a log cabin with an engraved number seven hovering above the screen door.

Cabin seven. This was it. _Home sweet home,_ Naruto thought sarcastically as he stepped out from behind the boy to get a better look at it. More kids began to join them in standing in front of the wooden cabin while others weaved and made their way around the group.

An odd looking man was leaning languidly against the wall next to the cabin's door with his legs crossed casually at the ankles and one hand in the pocket of his loose black slacks. Even though the man only appeared to be in his early thirties, he had hair greyer than Naruto's grandmother's that stuck up in a way that made it look like it hadn't been properly washed and combed in months. Only one forth of the man's face was visible at the moment, with an eye patch over one eye and the rest of his face covered by the Bible he had his nose buried in.

Or, at least it _looked_ like it was a Bible. There was something that appeared to be the corner of an orange, hardback book cover sticking out from underneath the black, leathery cover, though. Huh, weird.

"Yo," the man pulled his hand out of his pocket and raised it in greeting as the group belonging to cabin seven gathered around, his nose still buried in the 'Bible' even though his still pupil made it obvious he wasn't reading anything. He listened to the crunch of shoes against the dirt and pebbled path die down before beginning with introductions.

"I'm Kakashi Hatake, your cabin supervisor. Don't call me Mr. Hatake, though. I may have the gray hair but I'm not that old yet." He looked up at them, his good eye curving upwards in what Naruto assumed was a smile. He shoved the hand he had been waving with back into the pocket of his baggy pants and snapped his book shut with the other.

Shoving it into his back pocket, he pushed off the wall and walked closer to them; the sharp features of his lower face now visible. Even though he was smiling at them, a sad, nostalgic look showed in his grey eye as he scanned the crowd.

The corners of his mouth drooped slightly as he looked over all of the confused and crestfallen expressions on the kids' faces. He sighed. Every year it was the same. He always felt like he was talking at them instead of to them when they were taped up like this.

When they were unable to question him or what was happening to them.

"Right then. Bathrooms are in that building over there," he lazily gestured towards a small wooden building about a quarter of a mile or so across from their cabin. "Only one person to a shower at a time and all showers are to be kept under ten minutes since hot water is limited," he explained mechanically, as if he was reading everything off of a set of cue cards.

"If you have to use the bathroom or need to go to the clinic in the middle of the night, wake me before leaving. I sleep right next to the door in the only single cot so it shouldn't be hard to find me. Wake up time is at six and bedtime is at nine, but if you want to stay up for an extra hour or so; reading something or listening to music that isn't secular, I'm willing to turn a blind eye to it," he smiled at them, noticing how a few of the teens visibly relaxed at the bad pun.

He scratched his head in thought, mussing his already wild hair, "Hmm, I think that's about it. And don't try anything funny, I sleep with one eye open." He winked, causing Naruto to cock an eyebrow.

Wait, this guy only _had_ one eye! So, did that mean he slept with his eyes open? Did he even _have_ a second eye under that eye patch? Naruto was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to rip off his Life Saver and ask the man if something happened to his eye or if it was just an empty socket under the patch.

"Everyone go inside and find your stuff, it should be sitting next to the bunk you'll be sleeping in. No fighting over top and bottom bunks; it won't matter how high off the ground you are when you're unconscious, just grab a bed. After you get situated we'll all go down to the bathroom together to get ready for bed."

He held the door open and stepped aside, motioning for the boys to enter. They all began piling in and searching for their belongings while Kakashi waited by the door, once again flipping through his 'Bible'.

Naruto immediately spotted his blindingly bright suitcase on the bunk in the back corner of the room and darted towards it. As he walked up beside the bottom bunk, he couldn't help but stare down at the black weekender bag sitting next to his suitcase. It had the same strange white and red fan symbol on it that the zipper to Sasuke's sleeveless shirt had… oh no.

Naruto desperately hoped that it was just some new fashion trend that he wasn't up to date on.

A figure walked up beside him and extended a familiar pale arm, grabbing the bag. Shit. He groaned mentally. He didn't know why he thought lady luck would be on his side; after all, the real girls usually avoided him like the plague, it was only natural a made-up woman would have the same reaction.

He gulped nervously and tossed his bag on the top bed to claim it. Watching Sasuke's facial expressions as carefully as he could out of the corner of his eye, he waited for any signs of disapproval. Sasuke remained aloof though, as he slowly unzipped his over-stuffed bag and began rummaging around in it for supplies so he could begin his usual nightly routine.

Naruto let out a long breath through his nose that he didn't know he'd been holding before nearly slapping his palm to his forehead in realization. It was pointless to throw his suitcase up on the top since he had yet to get his nighttime stuff out of it. Besides, it would probably just be stored under the bottom bunk anyway for space.

Oh well, at least he called dibs. Even though he still didn't know how he was going to be able to sleep soundly, knowing that the new object of his soon-to-be-wet dreams was sleeping only a few feet below him. He groaned internally, hoping that he was wrong and not wanting to have to suffer the embarrassment of discussing those kinds of dreams with his strange, gray-haired cabin leader.

Something told him it was going to be a _long_ night.

* * *

Sasuke lay out on top of the sheets of his bed, staring up at the wood that supported the mattress of the bunk above him. Although he had shed his Life Saver the second the lights had flicked off, using the darkness to his advantage as he stuck it to the bedpost for safekeeping, he hadn't bothered changing for bed and was still wearing the same modest, wrinkled clothing that the camp's staff had jammed him into earlier.

It wasn't that he found the outfit particularly comfortable. Actually, the pants were about two sizes too big for his slim frame and twisted awkwardly around his hips every time he shifted or rolled over on the mattress, occasionally causing the pant's cold, hard metal button to dig painfully into his sharp hip bone, and the shirt was made of an unusual cotton blend that felt stiff against his sensitive skin.

He just didn't have the energy to dig through his bag for nightwear that the camp deemed suitable.

It was a different kind of exhaustion than he was used to, though. While he usually beat the hell out of his body, pushing it to its limits and beyond until he collapsed, this time he was mentally wiped out.

Yet, even though it was hours after lights-out and only the slow, rhythmic breathing of his fellow cabin mates along with the occasional owl hoot sounded throughout the room, he couldn't seem to keep his eyes shut.

His head was pulsing, as if everything he had been thinking for the past twenty-four hours was ruthlessly trying to burst out through his temples.

Usually Sasuke liked the quiet, liked being able to think and examine everything that was happening around him, sorting through it all to try to guess what new plan his father had in store for him and his life. His father had always been pretty straightforward in what he expected from his youngest son.

He expected him to be just like his brother- Itachi.

Sasuke's blood boiled as his thoughts circled around the reason why he had been shipped off to this damn camp. Itachi, the only person he had allowed himself to trust after what happened to his mother, had backstabbed him just for shits and giggles without even batting an eyelash.

Even though he had been emotionally stale for years, his chest ached when he recalled Itachi's betrayal.

A silent, bitter laugh rose in his throat, joining the lump there as he thought of how his father-a man who always spoke of pride and doing things yourself-had sent him away to be 'de-gayed' once the man realized not everything was going according to plan in his supposedly perfect family, expecting someone else to do the dirty work for him. It was laughable, really. His family wasn't even religious!

Especially since the only gods the Uchiha's worshipped were themselves.

He felt his chest rise and fall as he breathed deeply, his clenched jaw doing nothing to help his already aching head as he tried to relax his stiff body. There were two things Sasuke usually did to relieve frustration: fight and fuck… or sometimes both. Combined. But as he surveyed the still room, he realized that neither of those would be an option.

Sighing, he grabbed the pseudo smashed package of cigarettes and cheap gas station issued lighter he hid under his mattress earlier when he put his suitcase under the bed, and sat up, pausing as he thought out his next move.

He couldn't just waltz outside and light up like he usually would; somehow he didn't think that would sit to well with their cabin supervisor. He could always say he was just going to use the restroom he supposed, but he was still unsure if Kakashi would want to follow him, or worse… make him use the buddy system.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he glanced beside him to find the ladder that led up to the top bunk staring back on him. Well, there was a window up there…

Pocketing the pack and lighter, he stood, his mind made up, and began to make his way up the ladder.

* * *

Naruto lay sprawled out on top of his bed, his fingers interlaced behind his head on the limp feather pillow as he stared up at the cobwebs on the wooden ceiling. He was wide-awake still, unable to sleep a wink.

There were so many overwhelming thoughts over-crowding his brain that he wasn't sure if there was enough room in his head to hold them all. Hell, he half-expected them to begin pouring out of his ears at any second. He couldn't help it though; it seemed like every time he tried to squash a thought, two more would enter his mind in its place. The damn things were like cockroaches!

_"Now you go somewhere and pray, and you start doing some repenting!"_ The woman's shrill voice replayed on a loop in his mind, meshing with the other thoughts there. Repenting? She made it sound like he was beating little brittle old ladies to death, and stealing food and coats from the homeless rather than feeling for another human being. But, was he really doing something that terrible? (What was he doing, anyway?)

And if it was… did that make _him_ terrible, too?

A loud creak sounded from the bedside ladder, pulling Naruto from his musings. The ladder creaked and groaned in protest from the weight of the body climbing up it as it lifted up off the bed momentarily, only to be pushed back into place with a light clank as the dark figure reached the top.

Naruto squinted his eyes for a second, trying see who it was in the darkness before snapping them open so wide he swore he could almost feel his eye balls popping out of his head as recognition finally set in.

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and tried to open his mouth to ask what the hell Sasuke thought he was doing, only to have his lips part slightly before the skin around his mouth was tugged on painfully, his mouth only releasing a few angry, muffled noises.

_Stupid bastard, doing something stupid and making me forget about the stupid tape AGAIN_, he mentally cursed at Sasuke as the strong, nasty taste of glue entered his mouth from him trying to speak while still wearing the duct tape. Ugh, it was like licking a hundred envelopes in a row!

The mattress dipped as Sasuke crawled on the bed, slowly reaching towards the blond. Naruto felt like a bunch of butterflies had been released inside of his ribcage as the pale hand neared his scarred cheek, icy fingertips delicately brushing against the soft, tan skin. Then, without warning, Sasuke grabbed the tape and yanked it off of his mouth in one fluid motion.

"OW! WHAT THE FUCK SAS-" Sasuke slapped a hand over Naruto's red, irritated mouth to silence him. The Uchiha slowly looked around the room, making sure no one heard the outburst. Letting out a small sigh of relief when no one stirred, he turned his angry glare back on the noisy blond.

"Quiet, idiot! Do you _want_ to wake up the entire Northern Hemisphere?!" Sasuke hissed in a low voice before removing his hand.

"Oww," Naruto whined as he touched his cool fingers to his stinging face, "you could've at least warned me, bastard. Aw man, I was growing a mustache too!" He pouted as he stroked his smoother, and now slightly sticky, upper lip.

"Moron…" Sasuke grumbled, moving towards the small window near the end of the bed and messing with the rusted locks until they broke. "You'd just end up having to shave it off. Besides," Sasuke smirked at him while sliding open the window, "I doubt you're able to grow anything but peach fuzz."

"Ha! Yeah right! You're just jealous because I'm a hundred times more manly and rugged than you and your mustache-less self will ever be!" Naruto huffed in a whisper, glaring at Sasuke as the raven merely shook his head and mumbled something under his breath as he fished out the lighter and crumpled cigarette pack from his pocket.

"Didn't you make a hole for that?" Naruto asked with a slight snicker, motioning to the new cigarette Sasuke placed between his lips, remembering the hole the boy made in his Life Saver.

The pale boy grunted in response as he flicked on the lighter and lit his cigarette, quickly pocketing the pack and lighter once again afterwards. The taste of tobacco overlapped the clean, mint flavour of his newly brushed teeth as he took a nice long inhale, his face relaxing slightly as the nicotine began its calming effect.

Naruto sat up, leaning back on his elbows and shifting his legs over to the side of the bed to give Sasuke some more room, as the boy remained crouched in front of the small window. "Did they say anything to you?"

"About what?" Sasuke arched a delicate eyebrow, looking at Naruto from the corner of his eyes.

"Gee, I don't know, maybe about having a big gaping hole in the middle of your duct tape?" The blond elaborated, giving Sasuke a 'duh' look.

"Told them I had a stuffy nose," Sasuke answered simply, turning to gaze once again to the moonlit woods and taking another deep inhale from his sin stick.

Naruto grinned, "Good one." It was a pretty good excuse. The camp probably couldn't do anything if the kids with allergies or stuffy noses didn't want to wear tape over their mouths. Especially since it most likely constituted as child abuse… or something.

Sasuke slightly shrugged his broad shoulders in response, releasing all the smoke from his lungs. Naruto's heart skipped a beat as he drank up the sight in front of him. The boy's once inky black hair had a blue tint to it in the limited light, making it seem even more glossy and unreal. The moonlight highlighted his body in all the right places, giving it a beautiful pearl colouring that made his sharp features seem even more like they were etched from marble.

Naruto was suddenly thankful for the darkness as a small blush spread across his cheeks.

Feeling eyes on him, Sasuke turned his gaze back on the blond observing him. The butterflies fluttering around in Naruto's chest became violent as Sasuke exhaled another smooth stream of smoke, bringing a whole new meaning to the expression 'smoky eyes'. Naruto wasn't sure if it was because of him or the cigarette, but Sasuke looked more relaxed since they'd been talking, more… comfortable.

It was almost like the time when Naruto first found the raven in the alley, muscles tensed and glaring at air…

Naruto gulped as he remembered what he wanted to ask. "Hey, Sasuke…" he whispered weakly.

"Hn?" Sasuke grunted in response, taking a long drag from his cigarette.

"Before, in the alley, why did you kiss me?" Naruto asked, sounding much more cool and collected than he felt.

"…I needed to prove something," the boy finally answered in a soft voice after a moment of silence.

Naruto stared at him, confusion suddenly replacing the nervousness from before. "Huh?"

The raven sighed, stalling for a moment by snuffing out his half-smoked cigarette on the windowsill as he thought about how to explain it. "When someone tells you can't do something, what's the first thing you want to do?"

"Punch them in the face?"

"Besides that!" Sasuke snapped in the quietest voice he could muster, suddenly understanding where those dumb blond jokes originated from.

"Prove them wrong?" Naruto tried again slowly, equally as confused as before.

"Exactly. So when your parents told you that you couldn't be gay… that homosexuals don't exist… what's the first thing you wanted to do?"

Naruto looked at him in disbelief. "You grabbed me and started humping me like a dog in heat because you wanted to prove you could be gay? Well congratulations, you did it, because that's the gayest thing I've ever heard!"

"Shut up!" Sasuke hissed, his meaning getting lost somewhere in translation as he quietly slammed the window shut and crawled back towards the ladder in frustration. "You just don't get it…" he muttered under his breath, thinking that Naruto couldn't hear him.

"Wait!" Naruto grabbed the boy's wrist before he could put his foot down on the first step of the ladder. The blond opened his mouth to say something, but was only able to make a strangled noise in the back of his throat when he saw the familiar look in Sasuke's eyes. His breath hitched.

They looked so regretful, so betrayed, so… _hurt_.

It was a look that Naruto wanted so desperately to erase.

So, going with the first idea that popped into his head, he threw all doubt and common sense out the window as he yanked Sasuke down by the front of his shirt in an attempted kiss. He missed, ending up kissing the corner of Sasuke's mouth and shifting his lips gracelessly so they meshed together in a cigarette laced kiss.

Naruto wasn't completely sure what Sasuke was trying to say, but he knew from that look that he needed the same thing that Naruto did. Reassurance that he wasn't alone, that there was someone here with him going through the exact same thing he was. Someone that understood what it felt like, and someone who was just _there_, that would acknowledge his existence as something other than a mistake. Someone that he could touch and cling to whenever he just felt like going numb.

Someone to let him know that there wasn't something wrong with him.

Sasuke tensed up and after a few seconds awkwardly kissed back, the unexpected action suddenly making him seem timid and inexperienced. Naruto continued to pull him down until Sasuke was partially laying on him; his head turned at an uncomfortable angle to keep their lips connected.

Sasuke took the hint and climbed on top of Naruto, the weight of his body pushing Naruto's into the old mattress. Tan fingers found purchase in dark hair and Naruto slipped his tongue into Sasuke's mouth in a moment of hormone-induced boldness.

Sasuke jerked slightly in surprise as the wet muscle wiggled between his lips. He opened his mouth wider for the probing tongue, sliding his own against it as it revisited the cavern of his mouth. Once he took charge of the kiss he relaxed some, twirling the skilled muscle around Naruto's as they locked in battle.

Naruto suddenly broke the kiss and began to suck lightly and sloppily on his neck. Sasuke shivered as the blond blew on the now damp spot of his heated skin, his breath coming out in soft pants.

"Na-Naruto, what the hell are you doing?" He brought himself to whisper as Naruto latched onto another part of his neck.

"You wanted to prove you could be gay… so… be gay," the blond murmured against his skin.

"Idiot, I didn't mean it like that! I meant-" Sasuke got cut off as a pair of lips once again smashed into his own. He groaned in pain as their mouths collided harshly against each other. Was Naruto trying to head butt him or kiss him?!

The Uchiha wound one of his hands into blond hair and pulled his head back slightly, correcting the pressure until they were actually kissing instead of just having their faces slammed together. He coaxed Naruto's mouth open with his tongue, rolling and twirling it experimentally over the other's, smirking slightly to himself.

Well, it looked like he would be able to work off some of his frustration after all.

He lowered his body down more, biting back a moan as it brought them chest against chest, crotch-in-need against crotch-in-need. Naruto spread his legs to make more room for Sasuke and gasped, arching his back at the added weight and heat, consequently brushing his clothed erection against Sasuke's.

They both sucked in a breath at the contact, breaking the kiss and trying not to make any noises. Naruto grinned slyly to himself before rocking their hips together again experimentally, trying to get Sasuke to suck in another breath. He could feel goose bumps prickling at his skin as a shudder of pleasure danced down his spine.

He looked up at Sasuke's flushed face just as the raven bit down on the side of his plump, kiss-bruised lip to stifle another moan. Naruto's jaw dropped open. Was he drooling? That was probably the sexiest thing he had ever seen before in his whole goddamn life.

Suddenly, he felt what little self-control he had left snap. Grabbing the back of the Uchiha's head, he dragged Sasuke back down into a fierce kiss. The raven grunted quietly as their tongues resumed their previous tango, and he felt Naruto run the hand that wasn't tangled in his hair down his slightly sweaty shirt until it rested on his butt.

Sasuke smirked internally. What the hell happened to the blushing, stuttering boy he made-out with back in the alley?! He wasn't sure what brought on the change, but one thing was for sure-he liked it. He liked it a _lot_.

Naruto squeezed slightly, causing Sasuke to make a surprised choking sound at the unexpected butt-grab. The blond began rolling his hips against Sasuke's, and the stoic boy ironically found himself having a hard time remaining quiet as his body buzzed with pleasure at the motion.

Naruto's movements grew more frantic, making it look more like he was trying to buck the taller boy off of him instead of grind against him, his actions now running on hormones and instinct alone. Sasuke grabbed tan hips, his fingers digging into the blond hard enough to leave bruises as he tried to control and meet Naruto's erratic thrusts at the same time.

His baggy pants were sliding off his hips from the force of their thrusts, but that was the last thing on his mind as his body cried out for more friction. They had stopped kissing, their lips just barely touching as they panted into each other's mouth, their breathing becoming more ragged with every move of their hips.

Naruto could feel his shirt sticking to his sweaty chest and blond hair matting to his forehead as the heat coiling in his belly spread through his veins. He suddenly found himself wishing that there weren't clothes between them, his shirt acting like an oven to his already too hot body.

He moved his hand to fist the back of Sasuke's also sweaty shirt as they quickened the pace. The sensation of his silky boxers rubbing against his throbbing arousal was driving him crazy. He was close. So close.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered if he should warn Sasuke that he wouldn't last much longer, but all coherent thought and speech patterns were brought to a screeching halt when Sasuke suddenly bit down on his shoulder, muffling his cries of pleasure as the body above him tensed.

Well, that pretty much answered his question.

He shot his hand up to his mouth, biting into the back of it to silence his own cries as he came. Thrusting a few more times, he rode out his orgasm, barely registering the new weight as Sasuke gracelessly collapsed on his chest. He removed his hand from his mouth as his vision came back to him, his chest still heaving as he tried to calm his racing heart. His body hummed with satisfaction, his head still spinning. Even though it was still far too hot and Sasuke was crushing him, he couldn't bring himself to push the boy off him.

So he just lay there, trying to ignore the uncomfortable wet and sticky feeling in his pants as he continued to gasp for air. Sasuke rolled off of him, into the wooden railing on the side of the bed. The two lay side-by-side; occasionally glancing around the room to make sure everyone was still sleeping as an awkward silence fell upon them.

Naruto knew he should probably say something, but his brain and tongue were still getting reacquainted with each other as he came down from his high. He took another gulp of air as he listened to Sasuke's breathing begin to steady. What did people usually say after something like this, anyway?

He sure as hell didn't know; so he turned his head, looked at Sasuke, and said the first thing that came to his mind.

"So… wanna cuddle?"

His Life Saver was suddenly slapped back over his mouth and a creak sounded from the ladder, signaling that someone was climbing down it. _Guess not…_ Naruto turned his head again, going back to staring at the ceiling and counting cobwebs when something landed on his face.

Something else plopped down with it and he sat up, only to see a clean pair of his sweatpants and boxers slide off his face and into his lap. The butterflies in his chest fluttered as he stared down at the articles of clothing. Did that mean that Sasuke got them out for him? He looked down over the side of his bed and found Sasuke pulling on a new pair of pants.

"Throw your dirty clothes down here," Sasuke whispered, looking away. Was he blushing?! "It's not good to sleep in wet clothes," he mumbled so quietly Naruto almost didn't hear him.

The blond grinned and nodded his head, jumping out of his sticky clothes and sliding on the fresh pair of boxers and pants. He tossed them over the side of the bed to Sasuke who caught them and shoved them under the bed before ducking out of view and onto his bed.

Naruto peeled off the tape slowly and stuck it on the wood next to him. He slipped under the covers and fluffed his pillow, situating himself until he got more comfortable.

"G'night Sasuke," he whispered, smiling to himself as he heard the other grunt softly in response.

Naruto didn't know what they were now. Friends, acquaintances, friends with benefits, it didn't matter. All he knew was that the weight of Sasuke's body was better than the other weight that he had felt pressing down on his chest all day.

Besides, he always had more time to figure it out later. Right now just that fact that someone was there with him was all that really mattered.

Sighing contentedly to himself, he snuggled further into the blankets, his exhausted body begging for the rest. But as both the boys closed their eyes and slipped off into dreamland, neither of them noticed the eyes watching them in the darkness, twinkling in amusement.


	4. Lean On Me II

The next three days passed by agonizingly slow. Every day after a shower, breakfast, and Naruto trying to 'misplace' his Life Saver, they would all be herded towards the church for quiet time, have some lunch, be marched into the worship center for a sermon and further instructions, have dinner, and then be sent off to bed.

During the day the isolation was maddening. After all there were only so many thoughts that could flicker through someone's mind in that kind of tense, negative atmosphere before the self-doubt and questioning settled in. This caused Naruto to wonder if this was something he really deserved or if it was just another one of those 'bad things that happen to good people' things.

At night though, it was a different story. Every night Sasuke would climb to his top bunk (even when he claimed he wouldn't), challenging him with meaningless arguments and discussions. He acted as the perfect distraction; replacing the rock that had formed at the bottom of Naruto's stomach during the day with a fire he didn't know was possible.

But even though the time ticked by slower than a sloth on sake, the three days of emotional solitude were finally over. So that meant that things were going to finally start getting easier…right?

Wrong. Not when there was still group family therapy to deal with, at least.

Naruto's stomach lurched as he watched his parents park the rain-streaked Lexus in front of him. They got out of the car, their smiles stretched a little to far and voices a little too cheery to be believable as they climbed out and greeted him. He didn't know why they bothered to put on the front.

No amount of make-up could ever cover up the exhaustion written all over their faces or the dark circles under their eyes. He knew they meant well by it, though; that they were just trying to make him feel better. Too bad it didn't work.

They each set a hand on one of his shoulders, directing him towards the meeting room almost like a warren would lead a criminal back to their cell. When they entered the small, white-walled room there were already people sitting in the required circle.

If that circle was drawn by a three-year-old, that is. There were so many people sitting too close together or too far away from each other to call it a real circle.

Naruto thought it looked more like an amoeba, really.

He looked around the amoeba-shaped formation, recognizing most of the people there. The pink-haired girl he had sat next to in the cafeteria the first day was the first to catch his eye. They had obviously given her a half-assed dye job; her hair now poorly dyed a spotty gray-ish brown. She had her head bowed, staring down at the tile flooring with her hands folded in her lap, her parents on either side of her.

The strawberry-blonde woman sitting next her—obviously her mother—was glaring heatedly at the blonde girl's mother across the room. Naruto could practically see the lines of tension shooting between them as they locked in a heated staring contest.

He noticed that the blonde-haired girl was seated between the other two boys he recognized. The chubby boy was there, feeling even more nervous than Naruto if the sweat stains and slight shaking indicated anything. He looked like he was about ready to go up on stage in front of millions of people rather than just sit and talk to a small group.

Naruto shifted his gaze over to the boy with the pineapple-like hair, who was seated fairly far away from the rest of the group with both his parents. His elbow rested on the windowsill as he gazed out at the clouds, his father looking just about as bored to be there as him.

One of the new kids was seated near him, sporting the most bizarre bowl-shaped hair cut and fuzzy eyebrows Naruto had ever seen. The boy reminded him of a frog with his buggy eyes and abuse of the color green; along with the man sitting beside him, who looked like an older version of him that shared the same strange haircut and same green obsession.

Their outfits blended in so much with the camp's woodsy surroundings that they both looked like they were in camouflage.

Naruto nearly fell forward when his mother nudged him in the direction of an empty chair. He slinked towards it, slightly embarrassed that he hadn't even realized he'd stopped moving during his people watching. Sitting down next to a red-haired boy with a Chinese symbol tattooed on his forehead, he couldn't help but gawk at the obscure boy as he took his seat.

Despite his small stature, there was something intimidating in the way that he held himself. He sat with his arms folded stiffly over his chest, his face blank and his eyes closed. There were some black stains around his eyes and the skin around them looked red and irritated. It was like he had been wearing gobs of eyeliner that someone had tried to forcefully scrub off, and from the looks of it, failed.

Naruto shuddered as he pictured what must've happened in his mind. It couldn't have been pretty. That kid didn't look like a person anyone would want to mess with.

Looking away, he startled slightly when he realized there were more people in the room. They were so still and quiet, he hadn't even noticed them when he first walked in. Sasuke and a new, long-haired boy were sitting with what Naruto assumed was their father.

Sitting as far away as possible from the rest of the group; they sat close enough to each other to make it obvious they knew one another, but yet far enough away to show that they probably weren't very fond of the other.

Looking at the long-haired boy, Naruto frowned slightly as he remembered the camp's strict policy on hair length for boys. Yet, it had been three days into the camp and the boy's low ponytail still reached his waist. For a moment he wondered how the brunette had managed to convince the camp to let him keep it, before realizing that the boy's father had the same long, flowing hair.

The man looked like he was a wealthy, successful businessman in his newly pressed chocolate brown suit, even though his lengthy ponytail didn't seem to fit with the rest of his look. He probably paid the camp off in order to let the boy keep his hair. Long hair must've been a family thing…along with creepy eyes.

Both of them had creepy eyes so light they almost looked white. That wasn't what made them so unnerving, though. Their eyes never really appeared to focus on anything they looked at, making it seem more like they were looking _through_ the object rather than _at_ it.

Naruto was getting the willies just by looking at them. Especially since the long-haired boy kept staring in his direction. What if he had x-ray vision? Somehow the idea of someone checking out his spleen didn't appeal to Naruto. He just hoped the kid was looking at the red head next to him instead.

Deciding not to dwell at it, he opted to look over at Sasuke instead. Something about the boy made him smile immediately, especially as he recalled the past few days with the Uchiha; but the smile quickly faded when he took in the raven's appearance.

Sasuke had his hands on his knees and was sitting up a bit too straight for it to be comfortable, making Naruto wonder if someone had snuck into their cabin in the middle of the night and surgically implanted a metal plank into his back. His posture was perfect, the kind of beau ideal that only someone who had been professionally trained in manners and etiquette could achieve.

Even though his face was blank, there was something solemn about his eyes as he stared down at the white, speckled tiles that made up the floor. Naruto frowned, not understanding what brought on the change…until he saw the man sitting beside him.

If Sasuke had a stick shoved up his ass, this guy had the rest of the tree up his.

There was something about the man that made Naruto's skin crawl. He sat just as straight, if not straighter, than Sasuke. His posture was just as perfect too, with his arms crossed tightly across his large chest. His face was stern and tense, looking doubly as intimidating and judgmental as anyone Naruto had seen on the camp's staff.

But the thing that really struck Naruto was that even though Sasuke kept his face emotionless, his body language revealed he was more uncomfortable and uneasy than Naruto had ever seen him before sitting next to the man.

The loud click and squeak of a door opening sounded, breaking the silence and bringing everyone's attention to the skinny, fragile looking woman that entered the room. The door slammed shut behind her and the click-clacking of her heels against the tile floor echoed throughout the quiet room as everyone watched her make her way towards the last empty seat.

She sat down, flipping through a few papers attached to the wooden clipboard she brought with her. Naruto squirmed in his seat and someone coughed as she began to write something, the sound of her pen tapping against the documents being the only thing keeping the room from being completely silent.

She finished scribbling and set the pen down, finally looking up at everyone and giving them a cheery smile. "Hello everyone! We're so glad all of you were able to take the time to be here for your family, especially during this difficult time in their lives!"

Naruto resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Oh yeah, it must've been so hard for them to take a whole hour out of their Saturdays just to 'be there' for the person that they abandoned. What saints.

"Now, let's see if I can remember all of your names," she said will a small chuckle. Looking through the papers once again, she went around the circle and made sure she had the correct names written down on her clipboard.

"Who all here has one or both of their parents here with them?" She asked. The formally pink-haired girl raised her hand, along with the blonde girl, the pineapple-haired boy, the chubby boy, Naruto, and Sasuke.

"Alright, so that's Sakura Haruno, Ino Yamanaka, Shikamaru Nara, Chouji Akimichi, Naruto Uzumaki, and Sasuke Uchiha, right?" She named off everyone in the order their hands went up, checking their names off of the list as they all nodded in the affirmative.

"So then, Gaara Sabaku, who do you have with you?" She questioned, smiling down at him like he was a lost little boy and she had just asked him if he knew where his mommy was.

Gaara glared at her with a dangerous glint in his aqua eyes, not looking very pleased at being spoken to in such a way. "My family," he answered flatly in a low monotone that sent a shiver down Naruto's spine.

"Uhm, well, yes I can see that. But what family members did you bring with you?" She tried again.

A boy in all black sitting next to Gaara sighed; knowing that was the most the woman would be able to get out of him. "I'm Kankuro and that's Temari," he answered for the red head, motioning to himself and a blonde girl in pigtails, "we're his siblings and guardians(1)."

The woman gave a sharp nod and jotted it down on her clipboard, "Okay, thank you! Now Lee Rock and Neji Hyuuga, you two brought your…" she flipped through a few more pages, scanning the contents with her index finger before looking back and forth between the boy with fuzzy eyebrows and the long haired boy, "uncles, correct?"

Neji hesitated a moment before nodding in response, while Lee answered with a polite and proud, "Yes ma'am!"

Writing a few more things down, she finished and set both her pen and her clipboard down in her lap. She folded her hands on top of it and looked around at everyone in the room, still smiling like she just won the Miss Universe pageant.

Naruto wondered idly if the camp's staff had to wear Vaseline on their teeth to make them smile like that. That's what he heard they always did for beauty pageants, anyway. Most of the smiles here looked twice as sweet and cheesy as the ones he'd seen on those contestants.

"Okay then, let's get started," she said, pulling Naruto from his musings. "Today we will be exploring what caused these same-sex desires, or your root, so to speak."

Naruto gulped, the pterodactyls in his stomach returning to wreak havoc on his nerves. She was making it sound like she was a doctor trying to find what caused the virus they were spreading around.

It was like homosexuality was a disease and they were trying to figure out which vaccine to give them to cure it.

"I'm sure some of you are wondering why this is important. Well, here at Love in Action, we believe that like every other addiction out there, some outside force triggers homosexuality. If we're able to find the trigger, your root, then we can give you the necessary life tools you'll need to fight it." She clapped her hands together in excitement, ready to begin breaking in her newest recruits, "So who's first?"

Naruto's prankster side was tempted to blame Mother Goose, saying that it was the 'rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub' nursery rhyme that did him in. Thankfully though, today was one of the days that he chose to actually think before he spoke. So he just sat in the silence, desperately trying not to fidget in the hard, metal fold-up chair.

Looking around the room, she paused for a few moments to allow someone to begin. When only the steady tick of the wall clock answered her, she spoke up. "Any takers?"

Silence.

"Alright, I guess I'll choose then." She scanned the circle, her eyes landing on the pineapple-haired boy. "You there, Shikamaru Nara, when do you think you became a homosexual?"

"I don't know," the lazy boy sighed as he continued to look at the clouds. "When I was a fetus?"

Mr. Nara gave a small smirk at the response while Mrs. Nara began scolding them both for not taking it seriously in a harsh whisper. Both of them promptly ignored her as they sighed deeply, Shikamaru mumbling something about him probably being gay because women are too troublesome as he watched a bunny-shaped cloud float by outside.

Naruto grinned as he watched the corners of the counselor's mouth twitch. Her smile faltered slightly at the answer as she gave a look that clearly said that her patience was being tested at the roundabout way Shikamaru had just stated that he thought he was born gay. Naruto decided he liked the pineapple-haired boy.

"That's not quite what I meant… um, why don't we get back to you later?" She tucked back a loose strand of hazelnut-colored hair behind her ear that escaped her messy bun, once again scanning over the list of names.

"Why don't we hear from Lee Rock?" She smiled at him, not looking nearly as eager to get down to the root of their problem as before. "What do you think triggered your homosexual desires?" She said, being more careful with her wording this time.

"Nothing!!! I'm—" Lee cried, stopping mid-sentence and closing his mouth when he saw the disappointed look on his uncle's face.

Sighing in defeat, he sat up straight and stared down at the floor, losing his nerve to say all the things his uncle had already heard from him but never believed. "Well… I suppose it had something to do with gym class. I must have stared too long one too many times at the other boy's changing."

Naruto snickered quietly to himself. It was so obvious that Lee just pulled that answer out of his ass last minute. Watching a bunch of sweaty guys change after being forced to run laps until they puked didn't turn people gay. Only a complete idiot would buy that lame excuse.

A loud sniffle suddenly caught Naruto's attention as the man sitting beside Lee began tearing up. "Oh, Lee! Why didn't you tell me this earlier?! I had no idea such a temptation existed!! Why, if I had known sooner I would have talked to the coach and set up a private changing area for you!!"

Good thing for Lee there was a complete idiot sitting right next to him.

"Oh cruel fate, why did you have to take such a valiant, bright-eyed youth?! This is supposed to be the springtime of his youth, a time for him to find a delicate little lotus flower of his own to spend his youthful days with!! Oh, why does youth have to be both sweet and sour?!" Tears began cascading down his cheeks as he leapt dramatically from his seat, gripping the sides of his head.

Naruto almost swore he saw a picturesque golden sunset and waves crashing behind him in the background.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Gai!" Lee sniffled, tears now streaming down his face as well.

"Oh Lee, don't worry! I know with hard work and fierce determination you'll make it through this!!" Gai tried to reassure him, grabbing his shoulders. Even though there were tears still rolling down the man's face, he gave Lee a smile so bright Naruto felt like he needed sunglasses to look at it.

"Uncle Gai!" Lee cried, embracing him.

"Lee!" Gai also cried, hugging him back.

"Uncle Gai!"

"Lee!"

"Uncle Gai!"

"Lee!"

"Uncle—"

"That's it!" Sasuke's father bellowed, standing up and interrupting the tearful duo. "I didn't spend all that money sending my son here just so he could listen to a bunch of fags bitch the whole time."

Almost everyone in the room flinched at the malice in his voice. Except for Sasuke, who was probably used to that kind of reaction. And Gaara, he just looked like he wanted to kill the man for indirectly calling him a fag.

The camp counselor cleared her throat uncomfortably, trying to get his attention even though she looked like she was absolutely terrified of the large, intimidating man. "Um, sir, we don't use that kind of language—"

Mr. Uchiha ignored her and instead turned to Sasuke, glaring down at him with a hard, angry look in his eyes. "Either come home _normal_ or don't come home at all."

Then, without waiting for any response, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the room. Everyone sat where they were, staring at the door the man had just exited in stunned silence. The sound of a metal fold-up chair scraping against the tile floor rang throughout the room as Sasuke got up and walked out of the door, his head bowed and fists clenched tight enough to make his knuckles white.

Naruto turned in his seat, watching every step the raven took until the door shut with a loud clank. He fought the urge to leap up and follow the boy, his heart constricting painfully in his chest as he recalled the look in Mr. Uchiha's eyes.

How could a father look at his own son with so much… _hatred_? What could've happened between them to make him act like that?

"Naruto Uzumaki?" The woman called out to him, her voice sounding a bit frustrated. Naruto looked up at her, noticing that despite the smile she looked just about as frustrated as she sounded. She must've said something to him while he was spacing out and had to repeat it a few times before getting his attention.

"Huh?" Naruto answered smartly, his back still turned to her.

"Can you tell us your root?" She repeated as she took a deep, calming breath, trying to keep her cool and move on with the therapy session after the outburst.

"Uh…" Naruto got that unpleasant tingling sensation between his shoulders from being watched, knowing that there was probably eyes glued to him, watching, waiting to see if he screwed up.

He turned back around and started to sweat, the eyes on him beginning to feel like heat lamps. His mind went completely blank. Then, all of the sudden all he could think about at that moment was finding Sasuke and making sure he was okay.

"I have to pee," he announced tactlessly, his mind barely even registering what he said as he stood up and left the room.

* * *

Sasuke stood on the top step of the wooden building's porch as he watched his father walk to his overpriced car. He tore through his pockets, pulling out a cigarette and his lighter and glancing back up towards the sleek, black sports car. His eyes narrowed as he spotted the young man sitting in the passenger seat through the windshield.

So that's why his father was so quick to leave. The bastard had decided to tag along to ensure Sasuke was suffering, and he hadn't even bothered to come to the therapy session! And he called Sasuke a coward. What a fucking joke.

Realizing that his jaw was clenching again, he tried to relax it, knowing that it wasn't good for his already pounding head. He watched his father get in and start the car, his gaze still fixed on the man in the passengers seat. That's when their eyes met.

He subconsciously clenched his jaw tighter to match the constricting feeling in his chest. A fire of rage ignited within him at the impassive look on the other's face, making his blood boil so hot he was half-surprised it didn't light his cigarette. _Itachi_.

Then his father backed out and drove away, leaving behind nothing but fancy tire marks, dust from the dirt road, and Sasuke.

Sasuke looked down only to find that he had clenched his fists at some point and opened them, dropping his crushed cigarette and wiping the bits of tobacco leaves that had stuck to his hand off on his pants. He got out another one and lit it, inhaling as deeply as his lungs would permit.

He was going to need more cigarettes before this was over. Maybe a lung transplant, too.

* * *

Naruto walked onto the porch and stood by the door, staring at the back of Sasuke's head. Something gripped his chest as he watched the boy place a new cigarette to his lips with what sounded like a silent growl of frustration.

The raven's body was so tense it was making him shake, causing his thumb to fumble as he tried to get the lighter to spark. He finally got it to spark, lighting his cigarette and inhaling so deeply Naruto thought his lungs would explode.

Naruto swallowed thickly. While he had been anxious to get close Sasuke when he was inside, now that we was standing by him, he couldn't bring himself to move his legs and close the few feet of space between them. Should he say something? Should he really have come out there? Why did he even come out there?

It was Sasuke's business, Sasuke's family. He barely knew the boy for Christ's sake! Why should he expect the raven to talk to him about his personal life? Listening to the nagging voice in the back of his head telling him to continue, that he already knew the answers to those questions, he took a deep breath and walked a couple of step forward so he was close enough to be within speaking range, but not directly behind the Uchiha.

Even though he knew he'd end up rambling and saying something stupid, he started talking, because no matter how difficult talking to him was… silence was harder.

"Heh, you really like the idea of having iron lungs, don't you?" Sasuke didn't answer, so he continued.

"I think it'd be pretty cool, actually. It'd make you sound like a superhero or something. Oh, or a cyborg!!" He frowned to himself as he scratched his chin in thought, "but if you were a cyborg then you couldn't cry or feel or anything, and that'd be pretty crappy…"

"What do you want?" Sasuke called out in a voice so cold it gave Naruto chills, refusing to turn around and look at the blond.

Naruto felt like beating his head against the wall. He came out here to make sure Sasuke was okay and he ended up babbling about _cyborgs_?_Way to go, genius_ Naruto thought sarcastically to himself, trying to find the words to say.

It was still too early to crack a joke about it, asking why his father didn't like gays was too tactless, and asking why he looked so uncomfortable around the man still felt too personal. So, he decided to stop beating around the bush and just state the obvious.

"Your dad… he left pretty fast..." He said in a quiet voice, watching how Sasuke's fist clenched at the word 'dad'.

"So?"

"So… do you want to talk about it—"

"No." Sasuke replied immediately, cutting him off.

"Aw c'mon, it's not good to hold stuff in!" Naruto pleaded, suddenly forgetting his nervousness the more he talked with the stoic boy.

"Fuck off." The raven shot back with a growl, exhaling all of the smoke from his lungs.

Naruto rolled his eyes at Sasuke's oh-so charming behavior. "Yanno, it's not like I'm going to judge you or anything. Hell, I'm about as judgmental as a rock! It's just…" his words trailed off as he looked down at his feet, kicking a few stray pebbles that had been tracked onto the wooden porch.

"Just what?" Sasuke asked, looking at the blond out of the corner of his eye.

Naruto suddenly thought back to night when Sasuke had climbed up into his bed. The hurt look in the raven's eyes that still made his stomach squirm flashed before his eyes as he remembered what made him decide to kiss the boy.

"Sometimes… it's just nice to get stuff out of you, get it off your chest," he began, taking a few slow steps closer to Sasuke. "Sometimes just knowing that there's someone out there that's just willing to listen, even if they might not understand or say anything back, just the fact that they're there, that they're listening… that's more than enough."

They stood in silence for a few moments, listening to the wind rustling the fallen leaves as Naruto's words finally sank in. The blond looked down at his loose shoelaces dejectedly, feeling stupid now for saying those things. Just as he was about to turn and leave, a smooth, deep voice stopped him.

"…Idiot," Sasuke finally breathed out, his voice soft and affectionate despite the insult. He sat down on the top step, scooting over so there was enough room for someone else to sit down beside him. "Sit down."

Naruto looked up, surprised to see Sasuke looking back at him. The corners of his mouth rose in a dazzling smile as he walked towards the Uchiha, closing the distance between them as he sat down next to him.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments; Naruto listening to Sasuke's steady inhales and exhales as he puffed on his sin stick, the tension seeming to slowly drain away around them.

"Hey hey, do you think that if you had iron lungs you'd have super strong breath or something?" Naruto leaned back on his elbows and stared out at the woods, grinning as he continued his previous ramblings, "Maaaan, how awesome would that be? You'd sneeze and then, poof! Instant hurricane! No one would ever want to mess with a dude that could wipe out an entire city just because he has a cold!" Naruto turned to him in excitement, "Hey, maybe I should get some too!!"

"You don't need iron lungs for that, moron." Sasuke said, pulling his cigarette from his lips and looking at the blond.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I mean, I'm already badass enough as it is!" Naruto grinned at him, puffing out his chest.

"No. You just already have super strong breath," Sasuke deadpanned with a smirk.

"Hey! I didn't mean it like that!!!" Naruto squawked, only making Sasuke smirk more as the raven flicked the remainder of his cigarette onto the dirt path below them.

He glared at the Uchiha, sitting up straight and crossing his arms over his chest before looking away with a pout. "…Asshole."

Despite the fact that he was supposed to be acting angry with Sasuke, he couldn't help but smile to himself. Because when he saw the usually firm, flat line of Sasuke's mouth tilt up in a small, concealed smile out of the corner of his eyes, for the first time that week, it felt like he'd actually done something _right_. And that alone was enough to take the weight that had been sitting on his chest off.

They stayed out on the porch for the remainder of the group session. The time spent just bickering, watching the clouds, and blowing off some steam; all the while sitting shoulder-to-shoulder, side-by-side.

_Sometimes we just need somebody to lean on._

* * *

**A/N:** Because I know some of you will ask or call me out on it, I have to quickly mention that the "root" idea came from the movie _But I'm a Cheerleader!_ I promise I'm not trying to steal that movie's plot, it just seemed like a good thing to start group therapy with.


	5. Gaurdian Angel

Naruto grumbled to himself as he turned the corner of the small building. Listening to his footsteps clunk heavily against the old wooden porch, he kicked a few stray rocks and pebbles that had been tracked onto its surface as the sound of his parents' car starting and driving away came from the parking lot beside him.

"Stupid Sasuke, getting away with everything like he's so special. S'not fair…" he mumbled to himself with an angry pout as he gave a particularly hard side kick to one of the larger rocks, sending it flying off the porch and clanking into something that sounded metal… and expensive. He winced.

Naruto suddenly decided today was a good day to take up power walking.

The loud wails of a car alarm began to blare from the direction the rock landed, causing a flock of birds that were perched on the porch's wooden railing and Naruto to jump sky high in fright at the loud, unexpected noise.

…Or jogging. Jogging was always good.

He took off jogging in the opposite direction, eventually working his way into run when he saw someone go and investigate the noise out of the corner of his eyes. The alarm was quickly clicked off and Naruto eventually slowed to a stop, pausing to make sure no one had seen him. Breathing a sigh of relief when no one came charging towards him calling him a heathen, he once again started slowly shuffling to his next destination. He continued his previous gripes, making sure not to kick the rocks that littered the path this time.

The second group had been let out his parents and the counselor had grabbed him and given him an ear full about skipping out on the session, claiming every one of them made a difference while Sasuke had scurried away without even so much as one word of warning.

_That asshole was just as guilty as me!_ He huffed half-heartedly to himself.

But even though part of him was still whining about it, he just couldn't bring himself to stay angry for long as his mind replayed Mr. Uchiha's cold, stern expression and harsh words.

The look on Sasuke's face was evidence enough that he was already being punished for a crime he didn't commit.

The punishment for Naruto had been fairly mild, anyway. They'd pretty much only given him a second warning, which surprised the blond since the last time he checked people that claimed they had 'no tolerance for rule breakers' usually didn't abide by the three-strikes-you're-out rule.

The only thing that really bothered him was the look that the woman had given him. The dark, ominous look she had delivered and the knowledge that twinkled behind those murky, sun-strained eyes gave him anything but warm and fuzzy feelings. Naruto didn't doubt that when she slapped on her usual stretched smile she was probably picturing every possible way to make his life miserable.

Hell, that's probably why she was smiling in the first place.

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his black cargo pants as he walked, his fingers unconsciously beginning to fondle the crinkled, folded slip of paper sitting in his right pocket. After lecturing him the counselor had belatedly shoved a piece of paper with his tutor's office number scribbled on it in his hand and instructed him to go there.

If she had given him any directions to the building, he hadn't heard her. Naruto had been so uncomfortable he'd bolted out of the room like someone had shoved a cherry bomb down the front of his pants.

Swallowing as he approached a wooden building, he idly wondered if he was sweaty because of the hot sun beating down on his back and the humidity that embraced his tired frame or because of his nerves. He voted both. Turning his head, he nervously wiped away the mustache of perspiration that had formed on his upper lip with the sleeve of his t-shirt.

One of his hands instinctively wiggled out of his pants pocket and clutched the necklace that still dangled safely beneath his shirt as he attempted to rally his nerves. After all the other oddballs he had seen in this place, he didn't know what to expect anymore.

He climbed the small stairs that lead up to the buildings low wooden porch, causing a group of white doves that had gathered around the door to scatter and fly away as the boards creaked under the new weight. Staring up at the shining silver number on the door, he pulled out the slip of paper. He unfolded it, nodding to himself when the numbers matched up and folded it back up along the creases.

Shoving it back into his pocket, he raised his fist and gave the door three loud knocks. He jumped back when the doorknob began to jiggle, releasing his necklace and wiping his sweaty palms against the rough fabric of his pants and braced himself as if Satan himself was planning to jump out of the wooden portable.

Thankfully, the face that emerged was anything but the prince of darkness.

A strange, calm feeling washed over him when a man with hair like brown bristle brush wire pulled back into a tight, erect ponytail opened the door and smiled warmly down at him.

"Ah, you must be my new student," the man said, glancing over his shoulder at a clock on the wall before shifting his gentle gaze back to Naruto. "I wasn't expecting you so early. Please, come in!" the tan man stepped out of the way and held the door open for Naruto, motioning for him to enter.

The second Naruto had stepped through the door it was like a plug inside him had been pulled, draining away any nervousness he might've felt before and replacing it with an unusually tranquil feeling. He couldn't figure out _why_though. It was strange; the room itself was nothing special.

It was just an ordinary room ready to be used as a tiny private classroom. But yet, there was something about it that gave off an unexplainably cozy, homey feeling that put Naruto at ease.

It was about half the size of a normal classroom, unpainted and plain, and had all the things a classroom usually possessed. Up in the front of the room was a dry erase board with the words _gnothi seauton_ newly written on it—if the strong unmistakable smell of dry erase markers was any indication.

Naruto gulped as he read it, the unfamiliar words and language reminding him of the woman that had humiliated him on the first day. The comforting feeling suddenly fled and he began to clam up again. He shook his head as if to try to shake up the negative thoughts like a snow globe and continued to look around the room with the same wide-eyed wonder of a child before the thoughts could settle again and blanket his mind.

A giant old, built-in bookcase covered the entire sidewall. It looked like one of the revolving ones he'd seen in movies that were used to hide secret passageways and he half-wondered if it would swing open if he pulled the right book. Too bad it would probably forever for him to find which book was the right one, though.

There were so many books, novels, journals, and textbooks, jammed onto the shelves that Naruto wondered how anyone could possibly pull one out without the rest of the books on the shelf raining down on top of them and suffocating them.

And his teachers always said that studying wouldn't kill him. Liars.

After looking at how tightly packed the books were, Naruto couldn't help but wonder if his tutor actually read all of those pages, or if he put them out on display to make himself appear to be more intelligent than he really was while the books were left to collect dust.

Hinges squeaked, as if asking for the oil they so desperate needed, and wood bumped lightly against wood as the man shut the door. Naruto turned to face him and was greeted by the slightly taller man's soft, welcoming brown eyes.

"I have just a few more things I want to look over before we begin. You're welcome to have a seat and make yourself comfortable," the man motioned towards the plastic blue chair sitting next to the only student desk in the room while he moved to sit behind his own desk. He picked up and straightened out a pile of papers before sitting down and offering Naruto a reassuring smile. "It'll only take a second."

"Um, alright," the blond agreed, grabbing his own chair and dragging it up in front of his tutor's cherry wood desk. He sat down and watched as the man's tanned hands flipped through various papers, careful not to knock over any of the knick-knacks or the pile of books that couldn't fit into the jam-packed bookcase that sat peacefully on the desk.

Naruto raised a curious brow and stared at the desktop. The man's desk could only be described as organized chaos. While it was just as crowded as the bookcase against the wall, everything had its place.

All of the books were perfectly aligned, making it look more like they were glued together to form one giant book instead of many small separate ones; three pictures were lined up side-by-side towards the end of the desk in a line straight enough to make a ruler jealous; a blue mug featuring a white dove carrying an olive branch on the corner of the desk held pencils sharp enough to be used as murder weapons, and even the paperclips next to the picture frames were grouped by color and size.

Okay, so maybe this guy wasn't as sane as Naruto originally thought. Still, he'd take an obsessive-compulsive bookworm over the other staff members he'd met so far any day.

His tutor suddenly straightened the papers, setting them down and meticulously patting back a few loose papers that stuck out from the stack. He gulped, his stomach beginning to squirm nervously as he watched the man examine the paper tower.

Naurto just hoped his tutor didn't expect him to be as perfect as he was trying to make that stack of papers.

But as he eyed the overly tidy male, he slowly realized that his tutor's shoulders were a little too tense, he had been attempting to read the same passage for around five minutes now, he was sweating slightly even though the rooms old fashioned window air-conditioner was beginning to make the room feel like a meat freezer, and his brows were furrowed in something other than concentration.

Naruto's lips twitched at his observations and before he knew it he was smiling. He didn't know why the man was so flustered, but it put his mind at ease to know that not everyone in the camp was as collected and in control as it had first appeared.

The man took a deep breath, relaxing his features and setting the papers back on his desk. A benevolent smile spread across his soft features as he looked up at his pupil. Naruto could've sworn that even the man's _eyes_ were smiling at him.

"Sorry about that," the man said politely. "Now then, why don't we start by introducing ourselves—"

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" Naruto exclaimed a little more enthusiastically than Iruka was probably expecting.

The man didn't seem the least bit offended by it though. Instead, he almost seemed to find Naruto's outburst endearing. He gave a soft, lighthearted chuckle. "Well Naruto Uzumaki, my name is Iruka Umino and I'll be your personal tutor, but please, call me Iruka. Pleased to meet you," Iruka said, extending his hand towards Naruto.

"Uh, yeah, same to you!" Naruto grinned as he gave the hand two firm shakes before letting go. He subtly wiped his hand off on his pants again, not sure if the sweat on his palm was from him or Iruka's equally clammy hand.

He didn't fail to notice that Iruka was the first staff member to actually ask him for his name instead of just treating him like another model that was being sent in for repairs.

The steady tick-tock of the wall clock echoed throughout the room as the two grew silent. Naruto shifted in his chair, causing one of the chairs worn down legs to squeak, as he looked round the room again, desperate to find something to talk about to fill the sudden lull in the conversation. His eyes darted directly to the bookcase.

"Did you actually read all of those?" He asked; absentmindedly waving his hand towards the stacks of books that littered the bookcase shelves and the man's desk.

"Every one of them," Iruka answered as he clasp his hands together in the desk in front of him and stared at the over-stuffed shelves with a chuckle. "If you think this is bad you should see my house."

Naruto gaped and looked around. The classroom looked like a tornado had hit a bookstore, sucked up all the books, and dumped them in the room. He didn't see how it was possible to be worse than this.

Well, unless the man's house was actually _made_ of books, but somehow he doubted that.

"Your house? What, do you live in a _library_?" Naruto asked, voicing his disbelief.

"No, though I suppose it must look like one now." Iruka's smiled softened as he turned his gaze back to Naruto, his stiff shoulders lowering away from his jaw line and relaxing slightly, "I wasn't always this interested in literature though. When I was your age I couldn't stand books; they were just so unbearably boring to me. I always thought if I couldn't learn it from someone talking about it, then I'd go out and experience it for myself. But as I grew older I realized just how important they are, and well, now I love to read."

Naruto stared at him with his eyebrows raised, surprised by how much his tutor was willing share with him. The man was practically an open book.

He had originally envisioned his tutor as a stern, cantankerous old man with a crooked nose and beady eyes that would only throw worksheets at him all day, stand over him, and breathe down his neck to make sure he finished them. He was expecting the man to be as cold and distant as some of the textbooks that helped fill the bookcase, not someone that would smile warmly at him as they reminisced about their childhood.

For once, Naruto was glad that he was wrong.

"After all," his tutor continued, dragging the blond out of his thoughts, "all knowledge is worth having."

Naruto nearly burst out laughing at that statement. He half expected the man to exclaim that 'knowledge is power' or rattle off into an equally cheesy 'the more you know' speech he'd ripped from a public service annoucement.

But before any of the giggles building in his chest could leak out his mouth, there was something about the look on the man's face that held them back. A certain glimmer in his benign gaze that spoke of a wisdom that went far beyond his earthly years that Naruto couldn't even begin to comprehend, and didn't think he ever would.

So, swallowing his chuckles with one quick bob of his adam's apple, he forced himself to sit and let those words sink in for a moment.

For some reason the statement instantly made Naruto think of the unfamiliar words he saw when he first walked in; so he twisted in his seat, and pointed at the dry erase board.

"Then what's that say?" He asked, turning back to face Iruka while his finger remained aimed at the phrase a moment longer to make sure his tutor saw what it was directed at before lowering his hand again and setting it down on his knee.

Iruka must've known immediately what he was talking about though because by the time he'd twisted back around the man's eyes were already locked on the whiteboard.

"Ah, gnothi seauton," Iruka answered with a twinge of excitement in his voice. "It's an Ancient Greek aphorism that means 'Know Thyself'."

Naruto's face scrunched up in confusion, "Anamorph...ism?"

Iruka chuckled, "It literally means 'to define' in Greek. It expresses a general truth in a pithy sentence," he turned his head, gazing thoughtfully out of the window. "Aristotle once said, 'Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.' It's probably the most difficult lesson you'll ever learn, and it's something that I know I'll never be able to teach you."

His warm smile faded as he unclasped his hands and laid them flat, palms down, against the desks surface and his body tensed once more. The man's eyes did a quick sweep of the room, scanning back and forth and looking momentarily out of the window as if he expected there to be dozens of cameras watching like he was the center of some hidden camera reality show.

"Speaking of lessons…" He murmured under his breath as he began to root around his desk.

Naruto raised his eyebrow in question, but didn't say anything about the mans erratic behavior as Iruka pushed his chair back just far enough so that he would be able to look inside the desks large, wooden drawers without craning his neck.

The blond shifted restlessly in his chair as he listened to drawers squeak open and bang shut. The man pulled out one of the bottom drawers and paused, digging through it until he pulled out a black and white notebook.

Shutting the drawer closed with the side of his foot, he scooted back to his original place and set the notebook in the middle of the desk with a smack. Naruto stared at him with large, bewildered eyes.

All that paranoia… over a _notebook_? What the hell did he have in there, instructions on how to make a pipe bomb? Stolen FBI files? Drawing after drawing of penises? And if it was that anarchic or top secret, why was he showing it to _Naruto_, of all people?

The blond looked back up at his tutor as Iruka cleared his throat. "This is a bit… unorthodox, but I'd like you to have this," he motioned towards the writing notebook before clasping his hands in front of him once again.

Naruto eyed it for a moment before getting up and lifting it off of the desk. He grinned at Iruka and then turned around, jumping back into his chair. The same anxious feeling he got whenever he opened a Christmas present began bubbling in his chest as he cracked it open, only to find—

…Paper? He frowned at the page, flipping through the rest of the notebook only to find that all the other pages were just as blank. What the hell? Was this some kind of a gag gift? He'd heard one time that some treasure maps were written in invisible ink and all it took to make the writing appear again was some lemon juice and a little heat. Hmm, maybe the cafeteria had some lemons…

His tutor began drumming his now unclasped fingers anxiously against the dark wood of the desk as Naruto looked back up at the man, the empty notebook still open on his lap.

"I know you aren't allowed to record your time here anywhere, but as you're first assignment I'd like you to keep a journal. You can write whatever you want in it, whether it's three words or three pages, the length doesn't matter. Just make sure you write in it daily." Iruka instructed; deflating whatever hopes Naruto had at finding buried treasure on the campgrounds.

But he couldn't help but listen closely to the man's tense voice. Sure, on the surface it sounded like another painstakingly dull assignment that Naruto usually avoided like the drunk chick at a party, but there was something about the secrecy and the way that his tutor said it that peaked his curiosity.

There was something about the man's hushed words that made it seem like he cared about Naruto, that this was his way of looking out for him despite the fact that they didn't even really know each other. It made it sound like the journal was vital for survival, like it was important… like Naruto was important.

It made seem like he didn't think of Naruto as just another assignment.

"Just…" the man cleared his throat again, halting his fingers and still looking like all his muscles were wound tighter than a clock even though he sounded a bit more confident than before. "Please just make sure that you don't show or tell anyone about this. We'd both be in a world of trouble if anyone found out I gave this to you, so let's just keep this between you and me, alright?"

Naruto stared at him. Suddenly the man's obsessively neat nature made sense.

His tutor didn't exactly seem like much of a rule breaker. He must've been nervous, and cleaning must have just been his way of relieving the tension. The revelation made Naruto relax a little more. Iruka's nervous habit just seemed to make the man more relatable, more _human_.

Naruto grinned up at him as he snapped the notebook shut with one hand. "Heh, don't worry, I promise I won't say a word!"

Iruka breathed a sigh of relief and chuckled slightly as he relaxed back into his chair. "I figured as much, but it's still a relief to hear it. Just make sure you hide it where they won't be able to find it during bag searches."

"You got it!" Naruto chirped. But there was still something that seemed strange about all this…

"Um… why is it so important for me to have a journal?" Naruto asked in confusion, puzzled as to why the man would get so worked up about one assignment that seemed so miniscule.

"These thoughts…" Iruka paused, momentarily staring at his hands in thought before locking gazes with Naruto, "become like a poison. And if you don't find a way to get them out… they sit and fester in your veins until they eventually kill a part of you."

Naruto stared at him, wondering how it was possible for someone's gaze to be that gentle and intense all at once. Something in the back of his mind told him that now wasn't the time to voice any other questions he had tumbling around in his skull, so he just nodded in acknowledgement as he searched for a place to shove the notebook.

He mentally cursed the camp for not allowing jackets and chose to tuck it in his pants and hide it under his shirt for the time being. He'd just have to make a pit stop at his cabin before lunch to drop it off. Oh well, no big deal.

The wheels of Iruka's chair squeaked as he pushed himself back and then stood. His dress shoes tapped against the worn wooden floor as he carefully made his way around the desk. Resting his hands on scratchy-looking material of his wooltrousers, he glanced up at the clock with his usual smile in place.

"Ah, if you leave now you might just be able to make it to the cafeteria before the line gets too long," he informed cheerfully.

"Wait, you mean that's it?" Naruto asked skeptically.

"For today, yes. But don't think you're getting off this easily every day. The real lessons will commence the next time we're scheduled to meet. They pay me to teach you and that's exactly what I intend to do!" He stated firmly with a hand on his hip and a motherly wag of his finger.

"Aw man, I knew it was too good to be true!" Naruto whined with a grin as he stood up, notebook in hand, and headed for the door.

But as soon as palm came in contact with the cold, metal doorknob, he couldn't bring himself to twist it. There was still one more question lingering in the back of his mind that he needed to ask before he could walk out the door. He drew a deep breath then exhaled as he turned tentatively to Iruka.

"Hey, Iruka…" He began after a while, his voice faltering slightly.

"Yes?" Iruka answered distractedly as he grabbed the stacks of papers off his desk and walked over to set them in one of the drawers, not bothering to straighten them this time.

"Why are you doing this?"

Iruka looked up at him in surprise, before giving him a small, sad smile. He knew that what Naruto was really asking was: '_why are you here? Why are you helping me?'_

Placing the papers back on the desk, he stared down at them quietly, looking like he was seriously contemplating the question. "When there's something wrong, those that have the ability to take action, have the responsibility to take action." (1)

He wandered over to the small window, staring out of the half of the window the air-conditioner didn't occupy as the afternoon sun cascaded down his face.

"And when you ask someone to live a lie, it's a dangerous, dangerous slope you're running down."

Naruto didn't know what to say to that. Mostly because he wasn't even completely sure what the man had meant by it. So he just stood there, watching Iruka in silence for a moment before finally grasping the knob and opening the door, exiting without saying a word.

As he gently shut the door behind him and began to shuffle down the steps, he couldn't help but think that standing there, bathed in golden sunlight…

Iruka looked just like what he imagined an angel would.

* * *

1. I didn't think of crediting this before since my mum used to always say this to me, but it was also in a movie called National Treasure. So yeah, credit goes to them for this fine line.

* * *

As always, I have to tell all of you how amazing you are. Seriously, your reviews get my blood pumping and my make my heart sing! Even if I am sometimes a flake and forget to answer everyone, just know that your time and words are always appreciated and I NEVER overlook/ignore a review or reviewer!

Critique is always welcome! (Not necessary, just extremely loved.)


	6. Don't Judge A Book By It's Cover

**A/N:** I FINALLY got around to tweaking the summary, so say good-bye to the lulzy one that I wrote while drunk! Anyway, sorry it took so long to pop this baby out! I've been swamped, but my work load is finally lighter (I hope ;-;).

* * *

After Naruto had waddled back to his cabin in a significantly penguin-like fashion (thanks to the notebook that'd slipped farther and farther down his crotch every time he'd tried to take a normal a step), ditched the journal in the classic under-the-mattress hiding place, and snuck back to the cafeteria before anyone could notice that he was _still_ prancing around without an escort, he'd managed to stumble into the cafeteria ten minutes before lunch officially began.

Then he saw what Iruka had meant about the cafeteria.

Even though Naruto had been early, he'd still waited in line so long that by the time he had finally gotten to order his food they were out of pudding cups and he'd been forced to settle with a particularly soggy, mushy looking fruit cup.

But if he'd thought the line before had been long though, then the one now was just ridiculous. It was longer than your average theme-park-Disney-extravaganza-ride line for crying out loud! It started at one wall and then stretched clear across the room and dragged on past the exit. Now that he actually had his food, he couldn't understand why people were willing to wait so long for it.

Naruto stared at the mashed potatoes in front of him—or at least, what the hairnet wearing staff member sporting an abnormally large hairy mole had _claimed_ was mashed potatoes. Part of him was still expecting the grayish blob to sprout legs and make a run for it.

He made a face of disgust when someone bumped the table and it actually _jiggled_. Were mashed potatoes even _supposed_ to jiggle? Maybe they'd accidentally given him ash flavored jell-o instead.

One thing was for sure though, the chefs were definitely not on their A game. Which was strange, considering how just three days ago the food had actually been satisfactory.

He gawked at it more, as if he expected it to morph into ramen if he concentrated hard enough. In a brief fit of insanity he actually considered trying it, but decided (after a quick discussion with his intestines) not to touch the offending blob for fear that he might provoke it.

The thing might've had teeth! _Sharp _teeth, that liked the taste of tan teenage boys whose names rhymed with 'Faruto.'

All the blood drained from his face as he pictured the blob launching off his plate and latching onto him like a face-sucking alien. Quickly picking it off his tray and dropping it with a clatter on a the wooden table, he shoved the plate holding the goo hard enough for it slide a good ten feet away from him.

It wobbled ominously. He shuddered.

With thoughts of '_better safe than sorry_,' he picked up his fork and listened to a table of people sitting behind him attempt uncomfortable small talk in hushed voices.

Looking around, he belatedly noticed that he was sitting at the only table without a counselor. Come to think of it, he was the only one sitting alone; all the other tables had at least three or four people. He frowned down at his macaroni, his blond hair dangling in front of his eyes. Without anything to distract him, he realized just how eerily quiet the cold, high-ceiling room was for a cafeteria.

Even though people brushed past him and began to fill surrounding tables, it still just felt so… empty.

Not to mention the awkward first-day-of-camp vibe from before had faded into something much more unsettling. There was an almost unbearable amount of tension wafting through the air; it almost made Naruto wish everyone had duct tape plastered back over their mouths.

At least then there'd be an excuse for the silence.

He clenched his fist around the fork, gripping the utensil hard enough for the sides of the metal handle to leave indentions on his palm, trying to ignore the loneliness that was continuously tap-tap-taping on his shoulder like an impatient child demanding attention.

Shifting his gaze up at lunch line, his eyes scanned the slew of people all packed tightly one after the other like a row of dominos. He couldn't help but break out in a smile when he noticed Sasuke standing in the back of the line with his arms crossed. But wait… his lips were moving. Was he actually _chatting_ with someone?

Naruto's smile dropped along with his stomach when he saw just whom Sasuke was talking to. The pretty boy from group. _Neji_.

His stomach churned as his mind managed to edit out the fact that Sasuke was glaring hostilely at the boy, as Sasuke's shoulders bounced a few times to what Naruto assumed were chuckles.

He almost swore he felt… jealous.

His gut tightened again when a smirk crossed Sasuke's face, his mind translating the look of arrogance into one of amusement. He growled to himself as he used his fork to stab his macaroni and cheese a little more aggressively than was necessary. He _wasn't_ jealous.

What did he have to jealous of, anyway? It wasn't like Sasuke was his boyfriend or anything… right?

He shook his head vigorously at that. No, of course not! So what if they fooled around every once in a while? Sasuke obviously needed it, since it was clear that the boy had no idea how to release tension in healthy, normal ways, and Naruto sure as hell wasn't complaining about the impromptu make-out sessions.

Still… he knew it was selfish, especially since he hardly knew anything about the boy, but just… Sasuke was the first person to talk to him after being ostracized and was the only one in the camp he considered not just an ally, but also a friend; and part of him just wanted Sasuke to himself. He looked down at his fruit cup dejectedly. It was foolish, but when he stared at Sasuke smirking at Neji like that…

He couldn't help but feel like the leftover fruit cup when they were all out of pudding snacks.

He started slightly when the familiar sound of a plastic clacking against wood came from beside him. He looked up to see a boy with choppy short black hair that looked remarkably like Sasuke sit down beside him.

The black-haired boy gave him a stiff smile and his mouth parted as if he wanted to say something. Before he could begin to speak though, the mysterious smile snapped back into a blank, stony expression as the boy turned to his tray and began to eat. Naruto arched an eyebrow, but before he could ask what the guy wanted someone walked up in front of him.

"E-excuse me… m-mind if I s-sit d-down?" A young counselor stuttered, clutching her red cafeteria tray hard enough to turn her already pale knuckles even whiter in an attempt to stop it from shaking.

"Yeah, of course! I'm Naruto," he replied enthusiastically, giving her one of his trademark grins.

"H-Hinata," she answered, responding to his grin with a furious blush as she gently set her tray down and sat on the bench across from him.

She squeaked when their shins bumps together under the table and whispered apologies from underneath her thick bangs as she quickly jerked her legs back. He could tell he was flustering her as she fumbled with her milk carton, but he couldn't help but stare. There was something so familiar about her, something he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

He shrugged it off and shoveled more of macaroni and cheese into his mouth as he searched out Sasuke and Neji again. The moment he located them, it finally dawned on him. He whipped around and attempted to ask her a question, only to have it be muffled by his mouthful of food.

"I'm sorry, c-could you p-please repeat that?" She asked politely as she tucked a strand of long dark hair behind her ear.

He struggled to swallow when he realized she probably would have a better time understanding him if his tongue had been sewn to his bottom lip. Naruto tried again, this time making sure his mouth wasn't stuffed.

"You look an awful lot like that Neji guy, are you two related?"

She fiddled with her hands, pressing the tips of her index fingers together and watching them in an attempt to avoid eye contact.

"Um… we're c-cousins," she answered in a small, shy voice that Naruto recognized as the one that had muttered soothing words to him after the woman on stage had railed at him on the first day. He grinned at her, glad to finally be able to put a face to the voice.

"Ah, really? You guys look like you could be twins!" Naruto exclaimed, looking back and forth between the two, his ill feelings towards Neji immediately forgotten.

"What's it like working here while your cousin's here? That's gotta be weird," he paused for a moment before quickly adding, "uh, if you don't mind me asking, that is…" He gave her sheepish grin as he rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"T-that's actually why I'm here…" She said meekly.

"Huh?" Naruto said lamely, watching as she wound and unwound a loose thread at the bottom of her gray polo shirt around her finger anxiously.

He didn't understand. Why would anyone be willing sign up for front row seats to a loved one's humiliation? Hinata didn't seem the least bit judgmental or sadistic, and it couldn't have been easy to try to 'cure' someone you knew, let alone your own family.

At least, wasn't that why they were shipped off to this place, anyway? Because their families didn't know how to, or even want to, deal with it—with _them_?

He waited patiently for her to elaborate as several conflicting emotions flickered in her pale eyes. She gathered her thoughts and looking resolute, she opened her mouth to speak.

"I…" the loud speaker clicked on, drowning out her next words as it announced that lunch was ending and for everyone to report to their False Image workshop.

"I have to go!" She squeaked, jumping up faster than a cat on a hot tin roof and then scuttling into the crowd, heading for the exit.

Naruto frowned as he watched her retreating back, utterly confused. First of all, what the hell was a False Image workshop?

_And what did she mean by that?_

* * *

Naruto walked alongside the swarm of people, but once he spotted the small wooden building they were slowly beginning to gather around up ahead, he let himself lag behind. He still wasn't completely sure what a False Image workshop was supposed to be, though.

He paused, his thoughts and body halting as he saw something curious in the trees out of the corner of his eyes. Turning towards the woods, he moved a few steps closer, attempting to locate it again through the thicket.

Buried behind the full maple trees and mantled in the darkness of their shade sat a building. But while the camp's other buildings were constructed out of unpainted wood that helped them blend into the natural environment, this one was an entirely white, cubed-shaped cement structure that appeared oddly out of place.

Not mention all of the other buildings except for the worship center looked worn, and cracked and creaked like they'd been around for years while the white monster in front of him appeared to be brand spankin' new.

The way that the trees loomed over it, their leafy branches drinking up the sunlight and blocking it from view, made it almost seem like the camp was trying to hide the building. It was hard to make out very many details from where Naruto stood, but there appeared to be a single white door with something that looked like a keypad next to it, and several little windows located only on the sides of the building.

Apprehension coated the inside of his stomach, and he couldn't help the chills that shimmied down his spine.

He almost swore he saw metal fence-like bars on the windows.

A twig snapped behind him and he spun around in panic, only to see a squirrel scurry under the porch of one of the wooden buildings in the distance. He laughed at himself as he used the sleeve of his orange t-shirt to wipe the sweat off his brow. He was being paranoid.

The queasy feeling was probably just indigestion. After all, he had just choked down the camp's gluey macaroni not ten minutes ago.

"You there!" A plump counselor stormed over, her cherubic face flushed red from the heat.

"Quit your dilly dallying!" She hollered as she grabbed Naruto's right bicep and yanked him harshly towards the rest of the group, not even bothering to hide her irritation beneath a cheery smile.

Naruto was stunned. The women was almost the polar opposite of all the other counselors he'd met so far who—although they angered him sometimes—at least seemed like they honestly wanted to help in their own way. But he remembered everyone had their bad days and some people were just naturally cranky, and he briefly felt guilty for lumping the camp staff all together.

"Let go!" Naruto bit out defiantly once he snapped out of his stupor.

After his outburst, she all but dragged him over to the building where the rest of the group was scattered, obviously fed up with trying to round up all the stragglers. Naruto struggled harder, his stubborn streak ignoring the little voice in his head warning him to stop.

He planted his feet in the ground and leaning back, using gravity to his advantage, he pulled back with all his might—right at the exact moment she decided to let go of his arm. Before he could even blink, his body flung back and collided with the blur of red standing behind him.

The counselor just made an exasperated noise and waddled off to fetch the rest of the absent bodies as Naruto laid there, stunned and aching from the crash. He scrambled to get up and off the person that he'd just involuntarily used as a cushion, apologies already collecting in his mouth.

He stood, quickly turned around, smiled apologetically, and extended his hand out to offer the other person a hand up. He froze.

Angry aqua eyes looked up at him from underneath a mop of hair just as fiery as its owner's temper. Naruto mentally cursed the impolite woman in every language he could think of. Gaara stared at the tan hand in front of him, and Naruto tried not to flinch in surprise when Gaara grasped it and easily hoisted himself up.

"Heh, sorry 'bout that," Naruto chuckled, releasing Gaara's hand.

Gaara merely brushed his pants off and walked over to the front of the building, a good distance away from crowd so only the faint murmurs of conversation was heard. He crossed his arms and glared silently down at the dirt.

Naruto belatedly noticed that the black stain around Gaara's eyes had grown fainter since their group session, even though traces of black still clung stubbornly to the roots of his light eyelashes. How much eyeliner _had_ the boy been wearing before?

The skin around his eyes was red while the eyes themselves appeared bloodshot. He kept blinking rapidly and Naruto bet that they probably stun. Naruto angrily wondered if the camp would resort to using paint thinner to try and get the make-up off.

"I'm Naruto," he offered, hoping to both cheer up the poor guy and get back on his good side.

Gaara remained silent, leaning back against the wall. Naruto was beginning to wonder which one he was talking to: Gaara, or the hunk of wood behind him.

"Um, we're in the same group therapy."

"I know," Gaara finally responded in a voice like liquid ice and shifted his intense glare from the ground to Naruto.

Naruto swallowed hard, guessing the red head was still upset about the whole slamming-into-him-and-nearly-crushing-him thing. Gaara was glaring so heatedly at him that he was surprised his pants didn't suddenly light on fire. He gulped again.

God would have mercy, but Gaara Sabaku wouldn't.

Naruto's nerves began to tie knots in his stomach when Gaara's gaze stayed on him. Just as he thought about looking away, he stopped himself. Now that Gaara was staring directly at him, he was able to see that the darkness underneath Gaara's eyes was a different shade than the eyeliner residue on his top lid and were puffy from lack of sleep. The red head didn't look malicious; he just looked exhausted.

Suddenly, Gaara didn't seem so scary anymore.

Naruto knew what it was like to have so many different thoughts and emotions twisting inside him that it kept him awake at night. His eyes softened and he smiled warmly at Gaara, taking a few steps closer as he found himself wanting to know more about the boy.

"What does your tattoo mean?" Naruto asked, keeping eye contact and figuring it was the best place to start.

Gaara stayed silent for a while. He appeared to be looking Naruto over, sizing him up before deciding whether or not he was worth answering.

"Love," Gaara said, neither encouraging Naruto's friendliness nor dissuading him.

"Why love?"

Gaara uncrossed his arms and headed in Naruto's direction, stopping when they were standing nearly shoulder-to-shoulder. "It's what I wanted," he brushed past Naruto and into the small crowd.

To anyone else, it might have seemed like Garaa was just giving him a simple direct, clear-cut answer to get Naruto to stop talking to him.

But Naruto didn't think Gaara was just talking about his tattoo anymore.

Naruto turned and waded through the crowd, trying to search out familiar faces in the sea of confusion. He stopped when he reached the other side of the building, just in time to see a familiar form stroll behind it. Looking around quickly to make sure none of the counselors were around to haul him back over with the group again, he peeked around the corner.

Naruto got a bad case of déjà vu when his eyes locked on Sasuke's back, the boy once again off smoking by himself against the wooden wall and looking stiffer than a corpse with rigor mortis. Naruto almost laughed aloud when he noticed that Sasuke must've snuck off at some point and reapplied his hair gel, the back of it sticking up every which way.

His hair was back to being just as prickly as he was.

For a moment Naruto wondered if the smoke was coming from the cigarette or if it was really Sasuke's anger rising off of his rigid form. Then again, Sasuke always seemed like he was agitated; like maybe all that hair gel was starting to seep into his brain.

Or maybe he just had a bad case of hemorrhoids.

Sasuke's ink-colored eyes were glued to the evanescent curls of smoke polluting the air in front of him, and a mischievous, foxy grin crossed Naruto's face when he noticed that Sasuke hadn't even realized he was there yet. Slowly and silently, Naruto crept up directly behind the other boy.

Putting his mouth up to Sasuke's ear, he yelled, "HEY SASUKE!"

Sasuke spun around, socked him in the jaw, and went right back to sucking on his cigarette. Naruto fell back and landed on his ass for the second time that day, his mind taking a moment to catch up with the rest of his body.

Naruto mentally laughed at how much he must've frightened the poor bastard to make him actually _punch_ Naruto. He grinned and opened his mouth to comment on it, but his stomach beat him to it as it growled loudly.

"Man, what I wouldn't give for some ramen right about now…" He whined, holding his stomach.

Sasuke just stood there, cigarette paused mid-way to his lips, and stared at Naruto like the blond had pressed his face up against the microwave one too many times.

"What?" Naruto asked, leaping up and brushing the dirt off the seat of his pants.

Sasuke just shook his head and brought his cigarette the rest of way to his lips. "You're an idiot."

"Oi! Don't call me that, you bastard!" Naruto snapped, glaring up at the spikes protruding from back of Sasuke's head yet again. "And you still haven't apologized for hitting me yet. I know my awesome ninja super stealth scared the crap out of you, but you should at least say you're sorry!" He said sourly as he gingerly touched his throbbing, aching jaw.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted, exhaling another long cloud of smoke. "I knew you were there."

Naruto gaped for a second before rudely shoving his finger right in Sasuke's face. "Bullshit! If you knew I was there, then why the hell did you hit me?"

"You're loud, _idiot_," Sasuke drawled as he flicked his cigarette onto a nearby patch of dirt.

Naruto sputtered in indignation, the resentment he felt towards the other boy in the cafeteria once again resurfacing. Letting out what sounded like a war cry, he tactlessly lunged at Sasuke, fists flying, and attempted to strike him back. Sasuke didn't even look like he was trying as he agilely dipped and dodged out of the way of the reckless punches.

"Hold still, damnit!" Naruto growled as Sasuke caught a punch aimed for his face.

"Why? You'll only embarrass yourself _more_ when you miss me," Sasuke replied with a challenging smirk.

"Arg! You stink!" Naruto cried in frustration, still swinging wildly.

"I_ stink?_ What are you, five?" Sasuke said, his usually velvety smooth voice sounding slightly scratchy from all the cigarettes.

"Well it makes sense, since you're an asshole!"

"Um, guys?" They both looked up at the interruption, only to find Chouji's head poking around the corner, "I think we're supposed to go in now."

Naruto snapped his usual grin into place as he raised his arm above his head and waved at Chouji, "Alright, thanks!" He called out just as the boy's head disappeared back around the corner. Suddenly, he whirled back around, his fist finally smashing into Sasuke's stomach. He'd have to remember to thank Chouji for the distraction later.

"Now we're even!" He exclaimed with a triumphant grin as Sasuke doubled-over and fought to get back the breath that had been knocked out of him.

Naruto darted around the corner, feeling much lighter than he had before. All the bitter feelings that he hadn't even realized he'd kept pent up inside him had lifted; along with the confusing, jumbled emotions he'd felt when he saw Sasuke with Neji.

He'd have to hit Sasuke more often if it felt that good.

His blue converses kicked up dirt as he jogged back over to the group of now exclusively male campers, and he noticed there was an older looking man with long tousled white hair standing next the wooden door. A woman with hilariously large breasts and blonde hair pulled back into two long low ponytails began to approach the man just as he turned towards the door and shoved it open none too gently.

As the boys in front of Naruto began walking inside the building, the man placed his hands on his hips and took a deep breath in through his nostrils, letting it out with a loud sigh.

"I smell homosexuality!" He exclaimed.

"Got your head up your ass again, Jiraiya?" The woman smirked as she crossed her arms over her ample chest. Naruto got a whiff of an unexpected odor that made his eyes widen in surprise as he passed her and entered the building.

Either the woman used gasoline as perfume, or she'd been drinking.

He hurried into what appeared to be another, though much larger, classroom. Jumping into the seat nearest to the door, he hunched over the desk in front of him, positioning himself so he could both see and hear the exchange through the passing people.

"What are you doing here, Tsunade? This is man territory!" Jiraiya replied with teasing grin, pounding his fist against his broad chest a few times in a 'me man, me strong' sort of way.

"Oh? Then why are you here?" She said as she raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"Ha! I guess a flat-chested old hag like you wouldn't know a _real_ man when you saw one," he said. His voice was light and teasing though, like it was just two old friends poking fun at each other for laughs.

She smirked. "If you're talking about yourself, then I pity anything born with a Y chromosome."

"What do you want? Can't you see I have young minds to mold?" He grunted as he gruffly crossed his arms.

"I'm just here to remind you not to get too carried away on your perverted lessons," she teased.

He snorted. "Oh? What about you? Been sucking back the Jesus juice already, I see. And without me, why Tsunade, I'm crushed!" He clutched his chest in mock hurt.

Tsunade yanked Jiraiya down into a crushing headlock. "Keep it down!" She hissed. Naruto worried that her boobs were smothering the man and he didn't look too comfortable; but on the other hand, he didn't seem particularly displeased by it, either.

She released him and straightened out her eggshell-white wrap dress. "I just needed something to help calm my nerves," she said in a near whisper.

The look on Jiraiya's face softened into something more sympathetic as he nodded in understanding. "I know what you mean."

"Be careful, and ju…" she stopped to clear her throat while closing he eyes, turning her head away and strengthening her posture before once again facing him, her face steeled, "just remember why we're here."

"How could I not?" He murmured, his voice sounding far off as he stared out towards the woods.

She began to leave but stopped and turned towards him again, a small smirk playing on her lips as she asked something that Naruto had been wondering about even since he first saw Jiraiya, "By the way, how did you convince them to let you keep your hair? They seemed pretty adamant about you cutting it short, last I heard."

Jiraiya gave her a wry grin. "I just told them that if Jesus was able to have long hair, then I should be able to, too."

Her cinnamon-colored eyes widened in disbelief. "And that actually worked?"

He snorted. "Not a chance! Either I hack it off by tomorrow or they're replacing my ass." Even though he was still grinning, there was a somber look in his eyes as he watched the boys shuffling into his class for a moment before glancing back at Tsunade.

She gave out a few chuckles, even though her half-smile didn't quite reach her eyes. "I see. We'll talk more after class."

"Hey, Tsunade," He called after her, just before she could turn around again. "Stop worrying so much, it'll give you wrinkles." He gave her a reassuring smile and placed a bulky hand on her shoulder. "You'll do fine."

There was still worry in her eyes, but Tsunade gave him grateful smile and nod before walking over to the building that the girls were currently entering next door. Jiraiya turned back to the boys, clapping his hands together a few times.

"Come on! I've seen tectonic plates move faster!"

"What is this?" Chouji asked curiously as he passed Jiraiya and looked around the classroom.

"It appears to be some form of Homosexuals Anonymous," Neji observed from behind him, and Naruto was a little unnerved that he couldn't tell whether the boy was joking or not.

"Now, now, we're supposed to call it Loveology," Jiraiya paused for a second before adding, "of course, I like to think of it more as Babeology 101," he mused with a lewd grin.

Naruto's brows knitted in confusion. _Babeology 101?_ He looked around the room, trying to find clues as to what exactly they would be doing for the class and what the hell Loveology or Babeology was. When his eyes landed on an orange book sitting peacefully on top of Jiraiya's desk with everything but its spine covered in a mountain of paperwork, he got a strange, sneaking suspicion he'd seen it somewhere before.

Naruto leaned forward, squinting his eyes at it as if that would somehow enable him to zoom-in on the object as he loudly attempted to scoot his conjoined chair and desk closer to get a better look at it.

Wait a second… he _knew_ that cover. It was the same one that peeked out from under his cabin leader's so-called 'Bible'.

His head suddenly snapped back, as if realization had literally just smacked him in the face.

Naruto opened his mouth. Then closed it. Then opened it again. Then a few more fish impressions and several choking and sputtering noises later, he finally pointed a shaky figure at the novel and blurted, "Is that _**porn**_?!"

"Hey brat, show some respect! _Do Me _is a best-selling erotic novel!" Jiraiya snapped.

Naruto's jaw nearly fell off its hinges. _Erotic_ novel? He jumped up, pointing accusing index finger at Jiraiya.

"It_ is_ porn! You… you're a pervert!" Naruto's hands flew up and he gripped his hair in incredulity. "Ah! Why would they even _hire_ a pervert like you?!"

"Aha! I was just kidding, of course! It's just a book I brought to aid in my teaching!" Jiraiya said, but his face blanched in a way that meant he was most likely going into internal panic mode.

"Are you even allowed to have that here?" A squeaky-voiced kid in the back of the room interrupted.

"Of course I am!" Jiraiya said defensively.

"I thought they said porn wasn't allowed," another boy interjected.

"It's not porn!"

"You just said it was an erotic novel," Shikamaru pointed out with an aggravated sigh.

"I was joking!"

"How is that religious?" Chouji echoed.

"I bet they mention God plenty," Shikamaru retorted with an amused smirk as he lounged lazily in his seat.

"Well, if the main dude is anything like me, then it'd be a religious experience," A boy with shaggy brown hair and two bright red, fang-shaped cheek tattoos said as he put his hands behind his head and stretched out his legs, crossing them at the ankles.

"Yes, it'd turn the girl into a nun," the pale, dark haired boy that Naruto recognized from lunch added with a mocking smile.

The rest of the class burst out laughing while the tattooed boy looked like he was about to pummel the other guy. Suddenly, Jiraiya interrupted any possible brawls by grabbing the book and slamming it in the garbage can. He stared down at it longingly for a moment before turning around and facing the class.

"There! Now the next person that says anything about my approved, not to mention completely_ censored,_ version of _Do Me_ gets a first class flight out of here courtesy of my foot kicking their as—" he stopped in mid-curse, closing his eyes and pitching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "I mean, _rear_. Got it?"

"_Bullshit!_" Someone in the back coughed in their hand, making some of the class chuckle and Jiraiya grunt in annoyance.

"Alright! Now all of you sit down and shut up." He picked up a ruler, held it behind his back, and began to pace in the front of the room like a drill sergeant.

"My name is Jiraiya, and I'll be your False Image and Loveology instructor. Now, you all may be asking yourselves, 'What's the point of this class?' Well men, I'm here to help put some hair back on your chests!" Jiraiya laughed boisterously at all of the confused glances everyone, except the pale boy (whose eyes were still glued to the book in the waste basket), were giving him.

"No, not literally, of course. But over the next few weeks I'll be teaching you how to walk, talk, sit, and act like a real man, helping you to regain some of your masculinity."

Naruto was momentarily offended that Jiraiya had just implied none of them were 'real men,' but he couldn't help but notice that the way Jiraiya had spoken had sounded too rehearsed to Naruto, like a bad actor reading a monologue that he didn't believe.

Jiraiya whirled around, his whole attitude suddenly changed as he grinned at them, his eyes twinkling merrily. "And teach you my specialty—how to love the ladies," he added with a humorous wink.

He dashed up to the large, new-looking dry erase board that the camp used to replace black boards and grabbed a string, yanking it down to unroll an oversized picture of a scantily clad woman. He stared at it as a few people shifted uncomfortably in their squeaky seats and Naruto wondered if the man forgot where he was. Jiraiya cleared his throat and snapped out of his trance, continuing as normal.

"A woman's body is truly a thing of beauty. Notice the soft curves and delicate features," he said as he traced the woman's hourglass curves with the end of his ruler.

The shaggy-haired boy with the tattoos let out a loud wolf-whistle.

Jiraiya pointed the ruler and beamed at him, "Ah, see, now there's someone that appreciates a woman's body!"

The boy gave him a wolfish grin, exposing his abnormally long canines, "I sure do!"

"Good, good!" Jiraiya nodded approvingly. "Now that's what I like to see!"

"There's more than just physical attraction, sir!" Lee piped in.

"Why of course there is m'boy! Everyone knows that a woman's the one that brings the love into a relationship," he said as he itched his nose again and then absentmindedly scratched his chin, looking like he wanted to cover his mouth up.

The room fell silent, and Naruto's stomach felt like it had just slid down into his shoes.

"So, you're saying there has to be a woman involved for it to be considered loving?" Shikamaru gave a sardonic smirk. "Then I guess a relationship between two women is twice as loving as one between a man and a woman."

"Yes exactly!" Jiraiya exclaimed, giving him a quick thumbs-up of approval before snapping back to his senses and shaking his head and hand, "Er, wait, no, that's not what I meant!"

"Let's just move on, shall we?" Jiraiya said as he pinched the bridge of his nose again in frustration.

Naruto tried to stifle his laughter. The whole class felt bizarre to him; it was almost like having an atheist as a Sunday school teacher. The only thing Jiraiya seemed even remotely interested in talking about were babes. Well, at least now Naruto knew why the teacher called the class Babeology 101.

"Now, while it's important that all of you learn to love a woman and a woman's body, it's also important not to look or act like one," he said in the same joking tone he used when he called Tsunade flat-chested as he paced to and fro.

He paused in his strides and lightly slapped his ruler against the knee of someone in the front row with their legs crossed.

"Uncross those legs, son."

* * *

Sasuke sat in the back of the room, his elbows propped up on the desk and long fingers laced together in front of his mouth. For once in his life he wasn't paying attention to what his instructor was drooling over, instead finding it more appealing to have a staring contest with the dry erase board.

Besides, there was only one woman he was interested in, and that was miss Nicky Tine.

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes as Naruto began overreacting again, shouting in bewilderment at Jiraiya and calling the old man a pervert. Sasuke didn't see what was so astonishing about the whole thing.

Schools hired pedophiles, so it made sense that a camp for sexual deviants would eventually hire a pervert without even knowing it.

He scowled in disgust as Jiraiya ignored Naruto and put up another visual aid, continuing with his lecherous lecture and not skipping on the ribald language. He trailed off frequently to stare at the pictures for an awkwardly long amount of time, before turning back to the class and picking up where he left off, as if nothing had happened.

This class was a joke. No, scratch that, this _camp_ was a joke. The whole camp just seemed like a giant sham to Sasuke, like the TV evangelists who claimed you were only able to go to heaven if you called in with your credit card number and were willing to pay the price.

He bet the counselors didn't even have licenses for the psychotherapy they were trying to perform.

The counselor's words still burned in his mind from group therapy, when she'd pulled him aside after scolding Naruto in front of the boy's parents. At first she'd said the typical things Sasuke had planned to hear, like _"I understand"_ and _"I know this is hard, but it's for the best."_ But he definitely hadn't expected her to blame his sexuality on his father's role in his life, or rather, _lack_ of role.

He had to bite his lip to keep from lashing out at her as she'd continued to describe it in a way that had made Sasuke sound like damaged goods; like he was weak. Usually the mere thought of being weak enraged him, but Sasuke's chest had felt as empty as his growling stomach as she had went on to explain that she believed that homosexual desires were caused by trauma early on in life.

And he nearly bit his lip clean off when she'd asked about his mother.

Then he'd went off and did what he always did—smoked. Smoked until his eyes watered from it; until he was able to convince himself that the way his hands shook, his eyes burned, and his throat ached was only because of all the cigarettes.

He hated not being in control, not knowing what to do or how to squash the feelings he'd been able to keep carefully submerged up until now. Part of him knew that what the woman had said was ludicrous, and yet there was something to her words that rang so true it made him ache.

After all, it had already felt like his father had abandoned him long before he'd dumped him on the camp.

This was just his father's way of sweeping him under the rug with the rest of the dirt, like the broken pieces of an expensive vase. They hadn't always been this affluent, but his father, Fugaku, had apparently finally learned that it was always simpler to throw money at his problems than fix them himself.

He never hid his rancorous feelings towards the church and religion, but he saw Sasuke as a possession, and Fugaku cared more about his possessions than his principles. To him, the camp was probably nothing more than a repair shop.

Still, Sasuke couldn't help but feel like a sheep in wolf's clothing among all of the Bibles, prayers, and gospel songs. He always had trouble handling fake things.

After all, it was easy for him to hate lies when he was forced to live one.

He supposed he could always go off and take it out on a tree somewhere; beating his fists against the ruff bark until the ache and pain was in his hands rather than his chest.

Or he could always just take it out on Naruto. He smirked.

Punching Naruto had proved to be just as good of a way to release tension as kissing him, but he sure as hell wasn't expecting Naruto to react the way he had. The boy was unpredictable, even though he was like a walking exclamation mark. He was loud, obnoxious, and seemed like the type of guy that would think that 'thesaurus' was actually the name of a dinosaur.

And yet, there was something that pulled Sasuke to him, a sort of tugging sensation in the Uchiha's chest that he couldn't explain or understand.

When Sasuke first arrived, he'd remained cool and collected on the outside, while in reality part of him had still wondered if he was asexual or not. Then Naruto had literally stumbled into Sasuke's life with his big full-on smile and wide azure eyes that betrayed just how hurt and scared he was, and Sasuke had found himself questioning things again.

He'd pressed up against Naruto, just wanting to prove, at least to himself, that these feelings weren't something he could help, wasn't something he could change. It had seemed perfectly logical at the time, which raised the question… what the hell had he been smoking to make him think that?

Someone must've laced his cigarettes with something when he wasn't looking.

He'd asked himself over and over since their first encounter what the fuck made him act so fast? Was it just his body working off the nicotine buzz without consulting his mind first that had caused his lapse in reason, and what made him chose _Naruto_, of all people?

That night, just before Naruto decided to initiate that sloppy excuse for a make out, he'd gotten his answer. It was those eyes. He knew those eyes. He would have to be blind not to see the shadows in Naruto's eyes.

After all, they were one of the reasons why he couldn't stand to look at himself in the mirror anymore.

Even though Naruto had the brain of a chimp, what he'd said on the porch when they were skipping group had been so accidentally profound that Sasuke had to wonder if it had been the same person.

And for some unexplainable reason, whenever he was around the boy the tightness in his chest and stomach started to unravel like a ball of yarn. Naruto was… infectious. And that label was fitting, since there was nothing more appropriate to compare him to than a transmissible disease.

But like his other addiction, it left a strange taste in his mouth that somehow left him wanting and craving more.

At first he thought he was just another idiot that wasn't worth his time, but maybe there was more to Naruto than he originally thought. After all, it was like that one saying: _don't judge a book by its cover._

Suddenly, a loud thud and crash sounded from the front of the room as Naruto attempted to sit with his legs crossed in the "proper" way Jiraiya was demonstrating, losing his balancing and sending both him and his conjoined chair and desk crashing to the floor.

…Or maybe he was just an idiot.

* * *

'Nicky Tine' is nicotine, for those of you that are like me and miss bad puns. While Loveology (and Babeology xD) isn't a real class, the idea of Gender Role Therapy and False Image workshop is indeed real.

And say what? The novel wasn't_Come Come Paradise_? Nope! Don't worry, you'll find out the reason behind it later. Also, in case you're wondering, I went to erotica section in the book store and _Do Me_ and _Man-Handled_ were the two most obvious names that made me laugh the most so yes,_ Do Me_ is a real novel. I know all of you probably have questions about Tsunade and Jiraiya, but don't worry! You'll find out more about them later. So, for now all I can say is look at the context clues!


	7. Personal Demons

_Naruto growled as he slid against Sasuke's sweat slick skin, grinding down mercilessly and all but slamming him against the wall once again. Sasuke's hands were tangled in Naruto's hair, clutching desperately at the thick strands—torn over whether he should try to pry Naruto away or keep him in place._

__

He'd tried to be gentle at first but Sasuke had interjected, accusing Naruto of treating him like a girl and insisting that he wouldn't break. Naruto had responded by sinking his teeth, hard, into the dip at the base of Sasuke's neck.

The cussing and groping soon morphed into a challenge. A power struggle broke out between eager bodies and tongues, practically a naked wrestling match for dominance. In ended with Naruto holding Sasuke up with legs wobbly from pleasure and Sasuke curling his knees up to his chest, too stubborn to make things easier for the both of them and wrap them around Naruto's waist.

Naruto fucked Sasuke into the wall as if he resented him, fierce and insistent, thrusting hard enough to make the distorted, twisted hanging photos of his parents' disapproving faces hanging around them shake. Sasuke dug his nails deep into Naruto's shoulder blades and dragged them harshly across his skin, proving that he could and would hurt Naruto even in the peak of his pleasure.

Naruto, eyes closed and gasping, was too close to bring himself to give a flying fuck. So he engrossed himself in the sensations, hips jerking helplessly and screaming like he might just bring the walls down.

_Just as he climaxed, Sasuke turned into George Washington._

_

* * *

_

Naruto bolted upright with a strangled gasp, clutching the lone thin bed sheet that he hadn't managed to kick off. Sweat soaked chest still heaving, his sleep-fogged mind began its steady crawl back to reality as his eyes scanned the room, his head whipping around so fast he wouldn't have been surprised if it did a one-eighty Exorcist style.

The only thing that answered his silent calls of '_Is anyone awake?_' was the steady chirp of crickets leaking into the cabin through the screen door. His breathing slowed with a sigh, exhaling all the panic he felt upon waking. Thank God he didn't make any noises. If he had to discuss a wet dream with a counselor, he'd rather not be drilled on one of his bizarre ones.

It was bad enough he'd never be able to look at Sasuke or a dollar bill the same way again.

Disentangling himself from his sheets, he cursed the shirt and pajama bottoms he was required to wear. He tossed and turned for a while, not wanting to risk attempting to creep around and clean himself up, before finally collapsing on his back with a huff, too hot, sticky, and uncomfortable to go back to sleep.

Not to mention the bruised side of his face still felt like it had high-fived a brick wall. It was easy to see now how the counselors could've believed that was exactly what provided the zinger of a black eye and swollen cheek he was sporting.

Well, most of the counselors. Iruka had scolded him for lying, Kakashi hadn't looked very convinced, and Jiraiya had laughed so hard he'd nearly pissed himself.

Worst of all, his and Sasuke's little fistfight did nothing to derail his wet dreams. (Especially now that he couldn't even remember who or what had started it.) If anything, it'd actually _added_ to them. Naruto blamed it on the stress; no one had ever made him want to pull out his hair quite like Sasuke. Oh god… now he couldn't stop thinking about Sasuke pulling his hair as he—

He desperately needed a fresh pair of boxers.

With about as much quiet stealth as an elephant on roller-skates, he clamored down the bunk ladder, stopping and wincing at every bang and creak the steps made before giving up and just tip-toeing down them as fast as possible. He let out a sigh of relief when his feet touched the ground…

And nearly leapt out of his skin when he heard a voice behind him.

"Don't leave," came a weak whisper from the bed.

Once his lungs remembered to breathe again and it'd finally registered who had said that, Naruto furrowed his brow in confusion and turned to face the other boy.

"What? I'll be right ba—"

Resisting the urge to slap his palm against his forehead, Naruto stared down at the boy's closed eyes and the steady rise and fall of his chest. Of _course_ Sasuke would have to be either still asleep or post-lobotomy in order to say something like that. Still, replying to him was almost as bad as answering someone when they were talking to themselves.

But wait, were those—was Sasuke actually _crying_?

"I'm sorry. Please, come back," Sasuke said, his voice breaking.

He was. Sasuke Uchiha was actually crying. Well, he was still asleep, but still, _crying_! As tempted as Naruto was to rip through his things until he found his Polaroid for future blackmail, it hurt to see the other boy that upset. He raised his hand; slowly extending it towards Sasuke to stroke his hair and preparing to try and pry more information from Sasuke's sleep talking.

"You're up late."

Naruto froze. Wind groaned through the screen door as a palpable sense of dread filled the cabin. _Oh. Shit._ He'd been so distracted with Sasuke he hadn't even noticed when his cabin supervisor had gotten up and moved beside him.

"I-I—" Naruto began, his mind too busy panicking to catch himself before he blurted, "I had a dream."

"Alright." Kakashi tossed Naruto a ball of fabric. "Go clean up."

Naruto caught it and stared down at the lump of his clothes in surprise, wondering when and _how_ exactly Kakashi had gotten them out of his bag and why the hell the man didn't start questioning him immediately.

"When did you—but you—don't you need more, um… _details_?"

He could barely make out the small curve of the man's lips in the shadows of the cabin. "Oh? Of what?"

Naruto felt his mouth drop open. Was he _serious_? No, no he couldn't have been, otherwise he wouldn't have known to get Naruto a fresh pair of pajamas. Still, no cabin leader in such a strict camp could be that apathetic about a wet dream. Something was amiss. At least, he thought something was. Damnit, this guy was seriously messing with his head!

"Wake up. Someone needs a buddy," Kakashi said as he pushed on the kid with the red cheek tattoos sleeping in the lower bed of the next bunk over with his foot, his hands occupied with being shoved in the pockets of his pajama bottoms.

"Huh? Wha? What time s'it? 'N what stinks?" The brunet yawned as he rolled away from the irritating limb.

"Go with Naruto to the bathroom." He toed the kid again, this time in the face.

"Hey!"

"Ah, sorry. You were in my blind spot," the man apologized, even though Naruto knew full well that the man could see better than he let on.

"That's it?" Naruto's mind still wasn't fully grasping what was going on as the other boy sluggishly made his way over to him.

Kakashi scratched at a patch of fresh stubble on his chin, looking thoughtful before adding, "Oh! Hurry back and get some shut eye."

Naruto bristled. "But, but what about my dream! There was sex! And George Washington! And—_oof_!" His bathroom escort effectively cut off any details about Mr. President's scandalous cameo appearance with a "_Dude, shut up!_" and an elbow to the solar plexus. That didn't stop Kakashi from getting that goddamn annoying _knowing_ look in his eye though.

Great, now Kakashi probably thought Naruto had a thing for pale guys in powdered wigs.

As they walked out of the cabin, Naruto's bathroom buddy snorted a laugh and mumbled, "_Washington?_ What the hell kind of History class did you take?"

Even though he'd heard the other boy, Naruto's brain was still too stunned and frazzled to process it. He knew he should've been grateful about his cabin leader's reaction, but… something just wasn't adding up.

After finding out about the Bible porn, part of him expected Kakashi to be some creepy youth pastor that would ask Naruto to sit on his lap and tell him all his dirty, dirty dreams. There had been a mischievous twinkle in the man's eye, like he knew more than he let on.

Naruto had a feeling Kakashi was hiding more than just an eye.

* * *

The campers marched into the early evening, their shoes making an audible _crunch, crunch, crunch_ on the loose gravel of the makeshift path. Naruto shuffled to catch up with the rest of the stragglers, desperately trying to keep his eyes open.

He let out a massive yawn, wincing as it stretched his injured cheek. After a hectic and nearly sleepless night (thanks to overly paranoid thoughts about his oddball cabin leader) and a long day of therapy and meetings, the _last_ thing he wanted to do was go on some lame hike with a cheesy name to some hidden chapel for more therapy and more meetings.

Of course, it didn't help that the weather was about as sour as his mood.

It was the kind of weather where Naruto felt like if he inhaled deep enough, he'd snort a cloud up his nose. Dark, with the sun heavily veiled under the rumbling grey skies, but the looming shadows from the trees were steadily making everything feel as if the camp had been sucked into a black and white film.

"Over the river and through the woods, to God's house we go," the boy that looked remarkably like Sasuke whispered behind Naruto in a singsong voice as the other campers ahead of him snickered.

The boy walked on ahead, offering Naruto a too wide cat-like grin as he jogged up to the rest of the group. That left Naruto alone with the last person he wanted to be alone with. Sweating nervously, Naruto peeked over at Sasuke to see him deep in thought, unconsciously glaring at the air as if the object of his animosity was about to materialize in front of him.

Naruto looked away, trying to ignore how _warm_ he suddenly felt. It was hard to look at Sasuke the same after what he'd seen last night (not to mention that remarkably strange—and _hot_—sex dream), but he sure as hell wasn't about to bring it up when there was a chance that other people were conscious and within earshot.

One thing was for sure though: Sasuke looked like he didn't want to be there anymore than Naruto did.

"C'mon, let's get out of here." He grasped Sasuke's hand and shuddered.

Naruto wasn't sure how it was possible for anyone to have chilly hands after walking so long in the fairly warm climate but, yet again, Sasuke managed to surprise him. What was he, a reptile? Naruto bet his shitty circulation had to do with all the cigarettes.

About as quickly as Naruto had grabbed it, Sasuke yanked his hand away and delivered a hefty punch to Naruto's arm.

"Don't touch me so familiarly."

Naruto gaped at him. He didn't know if he should be angry or flat out laugh at that, especially considering how serious Sasuke had sounded. So he settled for somewhere in between with some sort of strangled, chuckling growl that came out sounding more like a choking rooster than a human being.

Sasuke rounded on him. "What was _that_?"

"My brain… trying to react to _you_, saying _that_, to _me_."

"Good to know you have one."

"Hey bastard, you break it, you buy it."

"I thought that only applied to things that are actually worth something," Sasuke bit out in a tone like a punch to the gut.

Naruto's head snapped back. Usually, even though most of what Sasuke said so far came across as exceedingly arrogant, Naruto was always able to tell that he was teasing in his own little socially retarded way. This time though, it sounded like Sasuke really wanted to _hurt_ Naruto; and damnit, it was working.

But that didn't mean Naruto was about to just lie down and take it.

"Why you…!" Naruto began, balling his hands into fists and preparing to pop the bastard right in his steel-trap of a mouth.

Before any fists could fly someone shoved past Naruto, bumping his shoulder just hard enough to bring him back to reality. Still seething, he twisted around to see the pineapple-haired boy from group therapy sauntering in the direction the rest of the group had went. The boy shot Naruto a warning look.

Letting out a shaky breath, Naruto lowered his fist.

"_Fine_," he ground out between gritted teeth, "consider yourself uninvited, you dick."

Then he whipped around and stormed off the path, making sure to kick up plenty of pebbles in Sasuke's direction, and headed farther into the woods to take out his aggression on an innocent tree. Preferably a stupid looking one with spiky hair and a pale ass face.

* * *

Naruto had been walking for all of five minutes when he heard footsteps behind him.

What was his problem! First he acted all pissy and punched Naruto in the face, and then he tricked Naruto into thinking that maybe he _was_ human after all by crying, and then he practically bit Naruto's head off for absolutely no reason and followed him anyway, even after Naruto had uninvited him!

_Maybe he's acting weird because Neji's here_. Out of nowhere, his mind began relaying Sasuke talking and laughing with Neji at lunch. Ignoring how irrational he was being, Naruto felt a sudden pang jealousy and used it to fuel the fire.

"Stop following me!" Naruto said, deciding that Sasuke didn't deserve the decency of Naruto turning around to face him. The prick.

"I'm not."

Naruto stopped and turned around, glaring at Sasuke as he pulled out his pack of cigarettes and took out his next dose of tobacco.

He lit his cigarette and inhaled deeply, as if filling his lungs with that familiar warmth could take him somewhere else. Smoke tumbled out of his mouth and curled around itself, dreamlike and wispy. He ashed in Naruto's general direction.

"What?" The words seemed to fill the cloud of smoke that passed between Sasuke's lips like a smoggy speech bubble.

"Your voice is gonna be all gross and raspy when you're older. Like that one lunch lady that chain-smokes and doesn't believe in sneeze guards and just lets the ash on the end of her cigarette fall into the casserole. And—and you'll probably look all ugly and gross and crusty like her then, too!" Naruto bit out, knowing how ridiculous he sounded and not caring.

He waited for the comeback, his fists already tightening just in case Sasuke tried to sucker punch him again. No blows came, verbal or otherwise, and Naruto dropped his guard enough to at least relax his shoulders as he began to scrutinize the other boy.

All the hate he'd been gathering to fling at Sasuke came to a screeching halt when he saw just how miserable the other boy looked. It looked like Sasuke hadn't had a restful nights sleep in weeks rather than just one night. That's when it dawned on Naruto:

What if Sasuke's bitterer-than-usual attitude had to do with his dream?

Knowing that the almighty Uchiha wouldn't want to play therapy, Naruto settled for trying to make Sasuke smile. Which, when Naruto _really_ thought about it (which was equally as rare), was still asking a lot from Sasuke.

"Heh, but if you're getting iron lungs you might as well get a voice box to go with it. Who knows, maybe you'll get half off if you buy them at the same time. Oh! And maybe by then they'll have started making some that will play songs you download, like ringtones."

Naruto stiffened his body, moving it in jerky intervals while singing _Domo arigato Mr. Roboto_ in his best robotic voice. Sasuke smothered a smirk and pasted on a glare, making a smooth transition from appearing half-amused to looking like he wanted to light another cigarette just so he could put it out in Naruto's eye.

Sasuke eyed him suspiciously. "Are you on drugs?"

Naruto jerked to a halt, sputtering, "What—no! This is all self-generated! Sort of like photosynthesis, only with crack."

"Ah."

Now Naruto had never been much of a smooth operator, but he at least knew he was better than _that_. Shit, his face was burning from his cheeks to the tips of his ears! He was actually _flustered_. Not that he'd ever actually let Sasuke know that, of course.

Naruto would rather eat a batch of urinal cakes than admit that the pretty bastard made him feel like a little kid dizzy on sugar.

Silence fell around them like dead leaves, and it suddenly occurred to Naruto that he had no clue how to communicate normally with Sasuke. Every conversation he'd had with the other boy had someway or another ended with a kiss—either with his lips, or his fist.

Even if he did really like Sasuke (which was hard to say since Naruto often had trouble deciding whether he wanted to be around the guy or if he'd rather tie him up and lock him in a room with Jiraiya for hours worth of lady-part-talk induced torture) where could a relationship like that really go?

Or rather, what was he even looking for? Did he even _want_ a relationship with Sasuke, or was all of this nonsense really just stress relief during a similar major crisis in both of their lives?

Sasuke was interesting, that was for sure, but one glance at the guy sent all of his instincts screaming, "_No fucking way! Abort, abort! Danger, danger Will Robinson!_"

Naruto licked his chapped lips. He knew they couldn't go on like this forever, but maybe all both of them needed was a little… stress relief. Especially if Sasuke's nightmare had rattled him as much as Naruto's had (all of his nerves felt like they'd been tied up in expert-boy-scout-quality ropes).

Swallowing whatever guilt he still felt from the dream and trying to act nonchalant, even though he was paranoid as shit that someone would find them, he shoved Sasuke into the tree behind him and kissed him hard on the mouth.

Surprisingly, Sasuke grabbed him, reversed their positions, and kissed him back just as fiercely.

It wasn't anywhere near as good as he remembered. It was messy, their noses kept bumping and he was pretty sure if someone were to walk up (knock on wood), it would look like he was actually _trying_ to chip a tooth.

He vaguely remembered someone talking about lip biting being hot, but it was hard to grab Sasuke's bottom lip when his own head was tilted so far to the side that it was practically upside-down.

Just when Naruto was _finally_ beginning to get into it though, Sasuke abruptly stopped and pulled away.

Naruto tried to follow him with his lips, but looked up when Sasuke stopped him by shoving his shoulders back into the ruff tree bark.

"What—" Naruto gasped, trying not to pass out from lack of oxygen, "what's wrong?"

Sasuke looked him in the eye, breathing just as evenly as ever, and announced, "You suck at kissing."

Naruto fumed. "Hey! What the hell, bastard? Like you're any better!"

"Obviously," Sasuke said, actually smirking without the enmity that he'd been showing Naruto all day. Naruto could barely keep the grin off his face. God, he never thought he'd actually _miss_ that bastardly smirk.

_Yeah_, Naruto thought smugly, _obviously I am that good. Guess the bastard's a liar, too_.

"Ha! Yeah right! Just because you're a self-proclaimed man-slut doesn't mean you're any better!"

Sasuke gave him a dry look. "Do you listen to yourself when you speak?"

"Of course! Well... sometimes. But still, it's true! I must rule, I mean, how else could I have gotten past that black cloud of yours without gettin' hit by lightening? Hey, and maybe you're the one that sucks. Yeah! And you're just embarrassed that you aren't as good at macking as me, so you're trying to make me think that it's really me that's the problem when it's not me but really you! Um, wait..." Naruto made himself dizzy. He really had to learn how to think before he spoke; it was starting to make him look stupid.

"That answers my question."

Naruto decided to switch taunting tactics. "What if I just don't want your tongue down my throat? Who knows where it's been?" He said in his best 'ew, cooties' voice as he scrunched his nose up in mock-disgust.

"Okay." Sasuke released Naruto's shoulders and began to pull away.

"Eeigh!" Naruto replied eloquently as he scrambled to grab Sasuke's arm and yank him back. "What's your problem?"

"You don't open your mouth."

Naruto could practically _feel_ the steam coming out of his ears as he flailed. "Yeah, well, your mouth is _too_ open! I thought you were gonna try and swallow me whole! Like a python!"

Sasuke shoved Naruto back against the tree. Pressing their bodies together, he delivered a look that made Naruto snap his suddenly dry mouth closed so fast his teeth clicked audibly.

"Just follow my lead," Sasuke said. His face was hovering so close that Naruto could feel Sasuke's breath on his lips.

Their lips met again. As much as Naruto hated to admit it to himself, while still a bit messy, the kiss was _much_ better this time. Instead of waiting for the other to open-wide, they moved their mouths together, sliding them in sync as best they could.

Sasuke pulled back momentarily to whisper, "Breathe through your nose, stupid," before diving back in.

When did Naruto stop breathing? Was he still breathing? Oh God, with Sasuke pressing up against him and kissing him like that, all teeth and tongue, it was hard to think about anything else. Even things that were supposed to be automatic, like, say, _his air-supply_. Sasuke was a mutant freak for being able to breathe!

They stayed like that for a while, kissing and groping under the awning of the trees and getting more turned-on than they had any right to be on a hike called '_Getting Back on God's Path_.'

So when they heard a surprised giggle next to them, they broke apart faster than a group of skittish deer. Naruto unthinkingly turned towards the intruder, hating his trend of forgetting that there was a world outside of him and Sasuke.

Naruto felt like putting his head through a tree when he came face-to-face with the red-faced girl from his therapy group that used to have pink hair.

The girl blushed harder and covered her mouth. "Oh, sorry. Just ignore me, boys!"

Sasuke just gave her his usual watching-paint-dry-is-less-boring-than-you look, shoved his hands in his pockets, turned on his heel, and strode away faster than a hooker on a front street during a police raid.

_Traitor!_ Naruto's mind screamed after Sasuke, along with a few other colorful nicknames, for ditching him while it simultaneously tried to convince Naruto that Sasuke was about as useful as a blistering case of herpes. (Which was easier said than done after a kiss like _that_. Stupid Sasuke.)

Naruto turned back to the girl, deciding to turn on the old Uzumaki charm even though he was pretty sure that even his toes were blushing at the moment. Puffing out his chest, he strutted over to her while trying to look as cool as possible, even though it came across as more of a limp than a swagger.

"Er, hi?" Naruto squeaked suavely.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare him off. I was only joking. I didn't think he'd react… well, like that," the girl said, looking sincerely apologetic and just a tad disappointed.

"Oh, it wasn't you. He has, erm, Acid Reflux. Yeah! Makes him real gassy," Naruto said, looking especially smug at making Sasuke look bad. He deflated a bit though when he noticed that the girl was staring at him like his _head_ was the gassy one.

"Uh-huh, Acid Reflux. Sure." She sighed. "Listen, I don't mean to be a buzz-kill, but do you _want_ to get caught?"

"But—but we were the last ones—we went off the path! No one else was back here!" Naruto said, wildly gesturing to the empty woods around them.

"You know that if that was really true, then I wouldn't have found you. " Her eyes flickered over to his neck and she made an exasperated noise. "And you're covered in hickeys! Honestly, do _all_ men think with their crotches?"

"Hey! Not all of us are—wait… I'm what?"

The girl reached into her back pocket, jerked out a small mirror compact, and wordlessly shot the reflection at his neck.

"What the—Ahg! I'm going to kill that stinkin' gassy bastard! I bet he did that on purpose!" Naruto whined, pawing at the marks in a fruitless attempt to wipe them off.

He knew Sasuke had sucked on his neck at some point, but he hadn't thought it had been hard enough to leave a freaking _hickey_. He should have went ahead and dug Naruto a grave while he was at it.

"Maybe I can help," she said, grabbing Naruto's arm and pulling him closer before putting the compact away and rummaging through her other pockets. "Luckily for you, I just borrowed my friend's concealer, and even luckier, it just so happens to be green concealer."

"Green concealer? Do I look sick or somethin'?" He blinked, inspecting his skin in search of a green pigment. Sure, sometimes people looked at Naruto like he was an alien, but he doubted that he had actually sprouted green skin and antennas since he'd last looked in the mirror that morning.

She giggled. "No, it just helps to cover up red spots better. Trust me, I know it sounds weird, but this stuff is a miracle worker when it comes to love bites. Now hold still."

It took every ounce of strength Naruto had not to squirm like a worm on a hook. Man make-up felt awkward. He didn't know how girls, cross dressers, and jaded rock stars were able to stand it. All of his instincts were screaming at him to wipe it off.

"Seriously though," the girl began, jarring Naruto out of his thoughts, "this place has eyes and ears everywhere. This time it was only me, but next time who knows who it might be?"

"Heh, I guess it was kind of stupid to suck face out in the open like that."

"_Very_ stupid," she agreed, Naruto faltering at her tone. Her face warmed slightly though as she gave a soft smile. "But I guess sometimes they do that to you."

Naruto's cheeks suddenly felt like a pair of heat lamps. "Whaddyamean? H-he doesn't do anything to me! Well, I guess he does… but—but not like _that_. There are definitely no warm and fuzzy, cuddly feelings on this side, oh no. It's not my fault he can't resist me!"

"I'm sure. My name is Sakura, by the way."

"Oh, heh, I'm Naruto Uzumaki!"

"There, all done," Sakura announced as she pulled away and wiped her fingers clean on the underside of her t-shirt.

"Really? Let me see!" Grabbing the compact, he inspected her handy work. "Ah, no way! I can barely see it! You're amazing, Sakura," he said with unabashed awe as he poked and prodded at the now hardly noticeable spot on his neck.

She rewarded him with a resounding _smack_ to the back of his head. "Don't touch it, you idiot, you'll wipe it off!"

"Ow! Hey!" He sniffed and rubbed at the new bump on his head, trying to sooth the hurt before straightening up and offering her a sincere smile. "But, really… thanks. You didn't hafta do that."

"You're welcome. Now here, take this," she said, smiling back and handing him the green stuff and a small bottle of some tan goopy looking liquid Naruto only recognized from casual glances at make-up counters. "The foundation is too dark for me now anyway and it may come in handy—well, later."

A jolt shot down his spine when his hand connected with the tube; his thoughts traveling back to Jiraiya's so-called lesson. Sure, the old fart was a ridiculous pervert… but what if he was right?

What if there really was something wrong with Naruto's masculinity, and what if this only hurt it more?

His grin suddenly felt incredibly strained. It was one thing if she was putting it on him, but for some reason it felt completely different if _he_ was the one doing the make-up.

His grin turned into more of a grimace as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, look, I know I'm gay and all, but I ain't putting on make-up."

Sakura didn't look impressed. "Are you insinuating that straight men don't wear make-up?"

"What? No! It's just… arg!" Naruto threw his hands up it frustration. "It's just weird, okay? Besides, I don't even know how to put it on!"

"It's not rocket science. If some girls that use only twelve percent of their brains can do it, you can too. Now what's the real issue?"

Naruto shifted. Damn this girl was perceptive. "I've already got entire classes that are centered around me being less of a man…" he mumbled, hoping he wouldn't have to elaborate.

There was that soft look again. "It's okay, hiding a hickey doesn't mean you're going to run off and join a drag show. I mean, not that there would be anything wrong with that, of course. Just… think of it as war paint."

"Yeah. War paint," Naruto repeated with a lopsided grin, feeling some of the pressure lift as he stared down at the slender tube of cover-up. "Thanks."

"No problem. Oh, and next time you want to be alone with someone, just tell the counselor you're going to the bathroom. They'll make you take a buddy for that," she said with a secretive smile as she clasped her hands together behind her back and began to stroll away.

"Gotcha," Naruto said, shoving the tube into his back pocket. He paused as her words finally sank in.

"Hey… wait a second—how did you know that? Sakura? Sakura! Hey, wait up!"

* * *

Naruto jumped as another loud roar of thunder echoed throughout the woods. He ran with the other campers, one hand clamped against his neck to keep the make-up from running off his hickey as the rain finally began to impatiently rush down.

It was too humid to be refreshing though, like God was sweating on them.

_Or pissing on us_, Naruto thought sourly as they rushed towards their final destination.

The second of the reflective chapels was nothing like the worship center. Moss and vines had managed to claw their way halfway up sections of the blistered wood and the few high, grim windows that Naruto could see through the rain looked like they were composed entirely of stained glass.

The building had probably once had a large biblical scene painted on it, but all that remained of the past mural was a pair of pained weathered eyes gazing out from under a fading crown of thorns. Eyes that seemed to follow whomever looked upon it wherever they went.

Naruto suppressed a shudder as he broke eye contact with the mural, remembering Sakura's words. _Eyes and ears everywhere, huh?_

They were all quickly ushered over to the building's one entrance, but the farthest that Naruto was able to get was the small rickety almost-porch. A taut, burly man filled the doorway and a few helpful counselors tried to redirect him.

"I'm sorry Mr. Sannin, but you aren't authorized to be here during this portion of the program," a woman on the other side of the door said.

"Not authorized? Just what the hell are you planning on doing with those kids, anyway?" Jiraiya said, still trying to shove his way through the door. He must have finally bowed to the rules, because his once long hair had been chopped into a short, spiky cut that resembled Naruto's.

"Sir, there's not need for that type of language. What she means is this building is very old and just isn't made to hold any more people. We're already pushing it as it is. You understand, right?" A male counselor explained to the irate teacher, but there was something dangerous about how calmly he said it.

"Of course, of course," Jiraya said, even though the two counselors ended up having to forcefully pull him away from the building while he gave them his best stink eye.

Naruto didn't have time to stop and scratch his head at that scenario though because he was soon being pushed onto floorboards that creaked out songs of generations. If the little building even had power, it was out by the time they arrived.

The warmth from the rows of candles was stifling, but it sent his knees shivering.

Aside from the crucifix at the front of the room and the few old-fashioned pews, the chapel felt more like an army hut than a house of God. The flicking glow of candlelight only seemed to shrink the room further.

It must have been peaceful during the day, but it was eerie in the dark. Naruto felt like the only thing missing was a disfigured man playing an organ in the corner. A stick of a man walked to the front of the room. The shadows from the candles seemed to stretch the man's face into a gruesome mask.

Naruto was too distracted trying to make out the man's features that he missed the counselor announcing his name—something like Adam or Abraham. Another suburban kid with a biblical name.

"—We know quite a few of you haven't been taking this seriously and may have even broken several of our rules already." Naruto gulped, his mind reeling as they locked stares.

He knew. Naruto wasn't sure _how_ he knew, but he _knew_. Did Sakura tattle on him? No, if she were going to do that from the get-go then she wouldn't have helped him. Kakashi? No, Naruto had already been through that thought loop and decided the cabin leader had just been cutting him some slack.

It was probably just his overactive-imagination again.

"But it's all right." Naruto hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath until the man looked away. "It's hard to pull out of this kind of lifestyle. It's addictive and when you're spirit is weakened, it's easy to give into temptation. We're all only human. After years of living in that kind of lifestyle and toxic environment, sometimes you end up wedging yourself into a groove so deep that only exorcism can pull you out."

An… exorcism? Naruto's brow furrowed to match his confused frown. _What?_ Did people really still do that?

As whispers from the equally baffled campers began echoing throughout the chapel, the man on stage just coolly cleared his throat and waited until the noise died down.

Clearing his throat once more, he continued, "Now, this sort of thing, along with our other exercises, can be extremely personal. So whatever happens during your time here _must remain between you and God_. Talking about it with _anyone_ besides involved counselors may affect or undo the healing process, and that's a risk we won't let any of you take.

"If we find out you've spoken about your therapy with anyone unauthorized, there will be punishment. It's that serious."

Naruto's blood went glacial as the counselor's speech managed to engender more tense whispers. He dreaded what the man was leading into.

"No."

"Excuse me?" The man shot a dark smile at the blonde girl standing next to Sakura that had spoken up.

"Um, yeah, Mr. Preacher Man?" The blonde began with her hands on her hips, her voice as well as her body exuding an aura of yeah-I-don't-think-so as Sakura elbowed her nervously, "I refuse to participate."

Naruto expected the man to get angry at the Preacher Man crack, tell her some nonsense about her being required to stay and maybe even threaten to call her parents, but he was nothing but calm as he simply smiled and answered, "All right then."

He led her over to the side near the other counselors and turned to the campers. "Who else would rather do an alternative activity?"

"I, also, would like to leave," Lee said.

"Yeah, me too," Chouji said as he shifted from foot to foot and eyed the intimidating room nervously.

"Man, get me outta here!" The boy with the red cheek tattoos started to rush forward like he'd just seen a ghost before caught himself, cleared his throat, and corrected himself in an aloof voice, "I mean… yeah, I guess I'm with you guys."

As more than half of the kids were led out of the room, Naruto couldn't help but frown. Not because they left, not because he wanted to leave with them (he was too curious about the whole "exorcism" thing to leave, and besides, _Sasuke_ didn't walk out; he didn't want the bastard to think he was scared or some shit), but because _why now?_

Why now when they might've been able to say no to the Life Savers, the family meetings, or the False Image Workshop?

Was _exorcism_ where they drew the line? (And if so, where did Naruto draw the line?) Were they just dipping their toe into the water to see what the camp was like first, or was it just because no one had ever tried to speak up before and no one wanted to be the first one to try? Or was it something else entirely—like guilt or obligations—that was keeping them quiet?

"Anybody else?" The counselor said as he motioned to the other counselors at the front of the room to close the door. "Once we start we won't stop."

No one else budged, yet Naruto could feel the tension in the air.

A smile slithered across the man's face as he chuckled at some of the more nervous faces. "Oh come on now, don't look so alarmed; just think of it as powerful group prayer. Keep in mind that the point of exorcism is _healing_. What we're offering is a clean slate to help begin your relationship with God—and later, a future spouse."

"Okay everybody, let's begin," a petite tan woman drowning in freckles announced as she began passing around the brass bowls filled with healing oil to the other counselors.

At first it seemed harmless enough, just an awkward, intense group prayer.

Everyone reacted to it differently. Some were angry, some were silent, some cried, some looked bored out of their minds, some participated in the prayers, and others fell to their knees, crying as they whispered apologies over and over again.

Like a hawk going after a wounded animal a counselor swooped down, clutching a fallen boy in one hand and a Bible in the other as he screeched about casting 'demons of homosexuality' out. That one swift movement was all it took for the dam to break, and the weight of where they were, what was happening, and why they were doing it hit Naruto so hard it nearly knocked him off his feet.

An exorcism. He felt the bile in his throat before his mind even registered that he was nauseated.

The counselors drifted down the line like underwater swimmers. Naruto was even beginning to feel the weight of the water in his lungs. Heavy. Suffocating. The sound of the rain slapping against the ceiling only seemed to intensify it.

He didn't want to believe that there were demons inside him—but _fuck_, he could _feel_ them. They weren't the pointy horned little demons that liked to exchange souls for useless things or sit on shoulders and make snarky comments at pretentious miniature angels.

Instead they were all of the negative feelings he couldn't seem to shake: the guilt, grief, fear, anger, and most of all, shame. Personal demons.

He'd swallowed them down, countering them with layers of blinding determination and optimism. But when he was away from everything, alone in the stillness, he swore he could feel them twisting in the pit of his stomach.

Over time he'd learned to accept the fact that he had them (and hey, who didn't have issues?). But he wasn't ready to face them. Not now. Not when he had to keep his cool in front of essentially the entire camp even though he could already feel himself starting to unravel bit by bit.

Not when he was beginning to wonder just how big and horrible they really were if people were willing to go to such extreme measures to extinguish them.

As the counselors doused him with another round of healing oil, he realized he was trembling. His suddenly jellified legs were wobbling like they would buckle any moment under the weight of the cannonball lodged in the pit of his stomach. Locking his limbs, he attempted to gather his composure, but they continued to shake to the point that he feared he would collapse.

Maybe part of him already had.

Somewhere in-between the incoherent shouts from the staff and wails of his fellow campers, he found himself doing something he hadn't done in years: He closed his eyes and began to pray.

_God. God. GOD…_ his mind was stuck on repeat as he tried to scrap up the right words to say, even though that name seemed to have a certain weight attached to it that still felt too heavy to lift.

_Um, hey God, it's me, Naruto. Remember me? Big fan. Good job creating the universe and writing a bestseller 'n stuff._

Was he saying a prayer or writing a fan letter? He groaned mentally. Naruto had never been particularly skilled when it came to asking for help, _especially_ from God.

_Heh, sorry, I guess I'm a bit rusty at this whole talking-to-you thing. It's been a while. Uh, and well… listen; I'm trying really hard not to be angry with you right now, even though I think you're being a jerk. I don't understand why this is happening, or why it's making me react like this, but I don't want to—I can't break down right now. Not here. Not like this..._

Before he could even say 'amen,' the back of a familiarly cold hand ghosted across his fingertips. Chancing a quick glance behind him, he saw Sasuke's memorable spiky black hair and quickly grasped Sasuke's hand, hiding their interlocked fingers behind his thigh.

There was nothing soft or gentle about it. Bones, paling knuckles, and bitter feelings shifted painfully under their fingertips, and the tender skin between each finger stretched and stung. At that moment though, none of it really mattered.

Iruka had said that these negative thoughts were like a poison, but they felt more like quicksand to Naruto. Even though his knees were still knocking together, the pain from the hand crushing his own gave his mind something to focus on—something to keep him from sinking completely.

The room blurred and swayed around him like a feverish illusion. He couldn't tell if minutes or hours had passed when the haunting echoes of prayer began to die down and all that was left was the thick silence after a battle.

Shaken but still standing, Naruto finally released his grip on Sasuke's hand.

As they scurried out of the church, sprinting as if they ran fast enough they would be able to dart between the raindrops, Naruto stooped and looked up at the eyes at the front of the chapel. He knew it was ridiculous, but the way that the rain slide off the roof and onto the side of the building…

Naruto could have sworn they were crying.

* * *

**A/N: So the question on everyone's lips/typing fingers is probably, "HAY BIKE, WHERE YA BEEN?" (Either that or, "WTF is this story and why is it on my alerts/favorites?"). Well I've been everywhere, really. Aside from my circus of a personal life, this chapter undoubtedly took me the longest to write because of all of the research involved. You wouldn't believe how long it took me to find descriptions and videos about what conversion therapy exorcisms look/feel like and how many different variations there are of them. WHEW. But it's done, and now I can't wait to continue this baby since it's obviously starting to get more interesting now. :D**

******Also, just know I don't plan on discontinuing this story, even if my updates sometimes come sporadically. If life gets too crazy and I DO actually end up stopping it, I promise to let everyone know. So try not to panic if I go A.W.O.L. again. **


End file.
